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The Many Losses of a Divorce

May 14, 2021 By Tanya Prioste, J.D.

Divorce is filled with many losses:  the loss of the life you knew, the future you imagined, and the stability you thought you had had.  With a divorce you are exorcizing the old and harvesting the new.  The question is, how can you healthfully manage the losses of the divorce and create a hopeful future?  A Collaborative Divorce can give you the tools and support you need to get through the divorce with dignity and respect with a hopeful eye toward building the next chapter.

Many losses of divorce
Here are some of the losses you may be experiencing in your divorce:

Relationship Divorce:

  • Sexual/intimacy (real or perceived)
  • Interdependency – task and roles
  • Common history of courtship, experiences, family events, traumas, joys
  • Relationship identity – spouse/partner

Loss of the projected future – economic, family, intimate relationship, routines, hopes

Social Divorce:

  • Joint and family activities
  • Memberships – social groups, organizations, committees
  • Church memberships and activities
  • Friendship groups and activities – happy hours with spouses’ workmates
  • Neighborhood connections
  • Loss of friendships or change in friendship status

Family Divorce:

  • Membership with in-laws
  • At times, membership in your own family, status in your family

Physical Divorce:

  • Home – ownership, neighborhood, familiar surroundings
  • Personal property – things big and small, mementos, objects with meaning such as wedding gifts
  • Environment and routines of home

 Economic Divorce:

  • Change in assets
  • Future financial plans – retirement, inheritance sharing
  • Plans for travel
  • Vacation homes
  • Soft currency earner into hard currency worker
  • Change in economic status
  • Legal financial commitments – maintenance and child support payments that impact financial futures

Identity Divorce:

  • Downsizing of responsibilities such as a stay-at-home parent now having to share parenting
  • Individual loss of form and structure
  • Meaning

Allow a Collaborative Divorce to help you deal with these losses and work to build a new future.

With credit given to Anne Robinson Lucas, MA, LMEHC; Kirkland, Washington

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Divorce, Losses

About Tanya Prioste, J.D.

Tanya E. Prioste is a Certified Family Law Specialist by the State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization. She devotes her practice exclusively to family law. Tanya is a mediator, a Collaborative Divorce lawyer and supports clients in non-court divorce options.
Tanya's Profile | Tanya’s Website

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