No one goes into their marriage thinking there’s a 50% chance they will get divorced, but the fact is that almost half of all marriages do end in divorce. While few would advocate preparing a plan for divorce before any signs of trouble even emerge, once there are signs, or even more importantly, once it becomes clear that the marriage is likely to end, preparing for the process can be vital … [Read more...] about How to Prepare for an Amicable Divorce
Beyond litigation and mediation which are so often discussed as divorce process options, a third viable way to navigate separation which we will discuss in this article is collaborative divorce. To provide some context, in litigation, one lawyer represents a spouse and another lawyer represents the other. Mediated divorce is a type of divorce that utilizes an experienced divorce … [Read more...] about Collaborative is Teamwork:
Making the decision that your marriage is over is one of the most challenging moments in life. It's a time filled with emotions, uncertainties, and a myriad of decisions to be made. So, what should you do when you realize that your marriage is over? First and foremost, resist the urge to panic. Regardless of whether you're the one initiating the end of the marriage or receiving this news, the … [Read more...] about You Realize Your Marriage Is Over, What Now?
It’s taken months or years for you and your partner to decide the next step is divorce. As adults, you’ve had a lot of time to consider and process this change. This is not the case for kids - even if they’ve seen a lot of fighting and know things are rough between their parents. Because your kids are likely in such a different head space than you about the parent problems, one of the best … [Read more...] about How Do We Tell The Kids About Our Divorce? – Part 2
For parents who are considering divorce, the prospect of having to change holiday traditions can be daunting. From the time the kids are very small, many parents love to create traditions for religious and civic holidays. Repeating those traditions by having the same foods and activities can be deeply grounding and fulfilling for children and parents alike. When you divorce, change is part of the … [Read more...] about Scared To Divorce: Is This The Last Christmas (or Diwali or Hanukkah)?
Divorce is often synonymous with turmoil, heartache, and bitter disputes. However, is it possible to achieve a healthy divorce? The answer seems to depend on the approach that the couple decides to take. Traditionally, divorce is thought of as a courtroom battleground, where each party vies to prove their side while attempting to discredit the other. This adversarial approach leaves behind a … [Read more...] about Is It Possible To Achieve a Healthy Divorce?
As complex as divorce is, it can be especially difficult when business assets are involved. Business valuation specialists play a pivotal role in determining the value of a business in divorce proceedings. There are crucial aspects in conducting a business valuation for divorce cases. Starting Point: Financial Statements and Tax Returns Business valuation specialists primarily rely on … [Read more...] about Navigating Business Valuation in Divorce Proceedings
Family finances are often a major obstacle to reaching a divorce settlement. There are several key financial challenges that you and your spouse may encounter when navigating divorce. In the Collaborative Divorce and mediation processes, the neutral financial professional plays a crucial role in bridging the financial knowledge gap and helping both parties make informed decisions about their … [Read more...] about Financial Obstacles in The Divorce Process
Divorce can be expensive, especially in a state like California. Most people point the finger at the lawyers – they’re expensive and they charge for everything (calls, emails, research). In fact, in California, Divorce is big business. In preparation for a training, I was going to do on move-away cases (where one parent wants to move with the child, usually out of state, but far enough to … [Read more...] about Emotions Are Expensive. Realities That Your Divorce Attorney May Not Be Telling You.
Going through a divorce is an extremely difficult and emotional process. One of the biggest things I see when my clients come in for the first time is a concern about what the future holds for them. They are worried about what life will be like after the divorce, how they will cope financially, and how their relationships with their children will be affected. These legitimate … [Read more...] about Collaborative Divorce or Mediation Can Help Calm Anxieties and Worries
Will my spouse receive part of my CalSTRS pension if we divorce? Under California law, retirement benefits are considered community property, meaning that you each own 50% of your pension as a joint asset. According to CalSTRS, community property is the contributions (funds) you contributed, and the service credits you accrued and/or purchased while married or in a domestic … [Read more...] about CalSTRS and Your Dissolution of Marriage Process
Tune In to Your Internal Station It’s natural to have a whole bundle of tangled feelings and thoughts about the divorce and leading up to the divorce. Therapy can be one of your best bets in terms of making time and space for yourself and the myriad of thoughts and feelings that are coming in. Listening in on your internal dialogue, having a place to unpack and unfold what is happening inside … [Read more...] about How To Keep Conflict Low In Your Divorce
You may ask yourself, “Do blogs really matter? It seems like a lot of work without a lot of benefit.” I can tell you they do matter. They educate the public about the subject matter and also attract potential clients. Here’s an example: I wrote a blog regarding Collaborative Prenups. The title of the blog is, “Is There Such a Thing as a Collaborative Prenup?” It was posted on the … [Read more...] about Do Blogs Really Matter?
Unfortunately, when a couple goes through the divorce process, emotions run high and are often the driving force for running up the costs. Traditional litigation is notorious for taking a long time and being quite expensive. A Collaborative Divorce is less stressful and less costly. Costs of Traditional Litigation In traditional litigation, each spouse has their own private … [Read more...] about Why Does Divorce Cost So Much?
(Phone rings, Lawyer answers): Good morning, Law Offices, how can I help you?(Potential client): I’m getting married in 6 months, and my fiancée wants a prenuptial agreement. Lawyer: I’m so glad you didn’t wait till the last minute. It can take a while to complete a prenup, and it’s better not to be under a time pressure when you already have so many other things to plan when getting … [Read more...] about “My Fiancée Wants a Prenup, What Do I Do?”
When people think about Premarital Agreements (prenups), they think about divorce planning, about the doom and gloom if there’s a divorce. All marriages end – in death or divorce — but a Premarital Agreement can help you think about more than just the end of a marriage. A Premarital Agreement, particularly using a Collaborative approach, allows intended spouses to think and talk about … [Read more...] about Is There Such a Thing as a Collaborative Prenup?
Divorce is a complicated process because while it is a legal process it is also an emotional process, and it is a financial process. One of the main benefits of Collaborative Divorce is that it involves a team approach - a team of professionals to guide you through the legal, emotional, and financial aspects of your divorce. Collaborative Divorce - Emotional Benefits For most people … [Read more...] about The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce vs Other Options
Not all divorces need to be long, drawn-out litigious experiences, with both parties fighting it out in court over assets and time with the children. Rather, more and more spouses are turning to collaborative divorce as a way to come to agreements on everything from property division to child custody. In the most basic of terms, with collaborative divorce, each spouse retains his … [Read more...] about 5 Things To Know About Collaborative Divorce In California
“It takes a village to raise a child” is an African proverb that means that an entire community of people must interact with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment. We have many villages throughout our lives. There is our village through school—including parents, teachers, and friends; a village through our career—mentors, networking groups, … [Read more...] about It Takes a Village to Get Through a Divorce
People choose Collaborative Divorce over traditional litigation when they want the divorce to be more amicable. The hallmark of a Collaborative Divorce is honesty. Both spouses are expected to provide full disclosure about all assets, both those known to be community property and those that they claim are separate property. In rare cases during the collaborative process, one party … [Read more...] about Dealing with Hidden Assets in a Collaborative Divorce
Family courts are long-overdue at making non-adversarial divorce methods--like collaborative divorce--mandatory for most families before they use the court system (except for emergencies such as domestic violence restraining orders). I recently wrote an Op-Ed piece on this subject for the San Francisco Chronicle, the 13th largest newspaper in the United States. It was published in … [Read more...] about San Francisco Chronicle Mentions Collaborative Divorce in Bill Eddy OP-ED
There are many benefits to a Collaborative Divorce particularly when compared to the traditional litigated divorce. Privacy and confidentially are examples of how collaboration is in the best interest of the couple and of their children. What is Public Information in a Traditional Divorce Case? Disclosure of income. In a litigated divorce, documents regarding your financial … [Read more...] about Divorce: Keeping it Private
Collaborative Divorce is a process that puts you in charge of your divorce. In the traditional adversarial divorce process, the judge makes the final decisions. In a Collaborative case, you and your spouse make the decisions that are best suited for you and your family. Through Collaborative, we form a team of professionals who are trained in their specific area to help support … [Read more...] about Benefits of Using the Collaborative Divorce Process
Divorce Coaching is not Therapy Divorce Coaches are licensed therapists; however, coaching is not therapy. Coaches do not go into the childhood history of each client nor do they make diagnoses or prescribe treatment plans. In fact, divorce coaches do not actually treat any kind of mental illness. However, tools are provided to help clients cope with difficult feelings, such … [Read more...] about What is Divorce Coaching and How it Helps in a Collaborative Divorce Case
During a divorce, many parents fight about what courts call “child custody.” If you ask the average person, who isn’t going through or hasn’t gone through a divorce, to define the word “custody,” the first definition is usually something like “where people go when they are suspects of a crime or convicted of a crime, like in jail or prison.” Why is a word with this most common meaning associated … [Read more...] about A Child Custody Order or a Mutually Created Co-parenting Plan: Which Is Best
Anxiety and divorce, it’s even worse in the time of COVID-19. Anxiety is one of the most common feelings in divorce. There are so many unknowns. Where will I live? Will I have enough money? Will the kids be ok? Will I be alone forever? How will I parent alone? Am I still lovable? Am I losing my mind? I can’t function at work? How will … [Read more...] about The Divorce Coach: Collaborative Divorce’s Secret Weapon in the Time of COVID-19 and Beyond
For you, the decision to divorce differently may be a wise one. You may have heard horror stories about your friend or family member’s divorce. That there was a battle lasting for years; that they came out of it with relationships damaged and worse than when they started; that it was rough on the kids. That untold sums of money were spent fighting. You may have decided that … [Read more...] about Collaborative Divorce or Mediation: Which is Best for My Divorce?
Divorce is costly, in more ways than just money. Generally speaking, the higher the conflict and the more broken the communication and trust, the more expensive your divorce will be. But, with a little planning there are ways you can reduce the overall “cost” of your divorce. There are 5 main cost factors in a divorce: Family and relationships: the impact on your children, extended family … [Read more...] about Top 5 ways Collaborative Divorce can save on Divorce Costs
You’re not alone. After hearing all the legendary horror stories, you know you don’t want one of your own. You wonder: Will the divorce hurt my children?Will I be wiped out financially?Will I be able to have a decent home?Will I ever be able to retire?Will I be able to handle the anger, grief, and uncertainty?Will it be an ugly, expensive battle? Well, there is no magic wand, but … [Read more...] about Are You Afraid To Get a Divorce?
Making the life changing decision to divorce is often overwhelming. There are many things to consider, such as how the children will be affected and how you will restructure your family moving forward. Making the decision on how to accomplish your divorce can be as important as the decision to divorce itself. Collaborative divorce can help couples move more quickly through the divorce … [Read more...] about What are 3 Collaborative Divorce Myths?
Recently, I read an article on the internet titled “How Much Is Child Support In Your State?" taken from the website CustodyXChange.com”. Did you know that every state in the USA has its own law and mathematical formula as to how to calculate child support in its family law courts and that the use of the statewide child support calculator is mandatory if the parents go to court and have a … [Read more...] about The Advantage of Child Support Calculation Through the Collaborative Divorce Process
As a family law attorney, what sets me apart from other lawyers? Well, I like to think that it is my compassion, kindness, and the fact that I really care about my clients. I want to help each person transform their life and finish their divorce stronger than when they began. So many couples don’t know that they have a choice, and that they don’t have to slug it out in … [Read more...] about Why I Prefer to Assist Couples Peacefully Through Divorce
You have made the life-changing decision to divorce your spouse. Your next decision may impact your life going forward almost as much: “How will I get divorced?” You have three process choices: litigation, mediation and collaborative divorce. Here are my seven best reasons to choose a collaborative divorce. 1. Collaborative divorce keeps you out of court. The distinctive … [Read more...] about Seven Reasons to do a Collaborative Divorce
Divorcing spouses who own a business have an option for a goal-oriented, amicable process: Collaborative Divorce. This process promotes cooperation and partnership instead of a public and potentially destructive litigation procedure. It provides solutions for the couple and the business that aren’t available if the courts become involved. Collaborative Divorce Is a Shared … [Read more...] about The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce for Small Business Owners
If you’re reading this blog, you have a lot on your mind. You’re considering divorce. You want a lawyer to help you through, but you also hope to save time and money. You may think you don’t have that option but consider collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorce is a no-court divorce option where collaboratively trained lawyers and other professionals help you and … [Read more...] about Three Ways Collaborative Divorce Can Save You Time and Money
Divorce lawyers have a saying that they help good people on their worst day. To get you through your worst day you need legal support from someone you trust. You also need to be sure you choose the right process. If an attorney is not trained in collaborative divorce, then you have already ruled out one positive path for completing your divorce just by selecting that untrained … [Read more...] about How to Choose a Divorce Lawyer
According to Research from the University of Washington, the number of divorce filings in a number of states consistently peaks in the months of August and March. What’s behind the monthly up-tick? Several factors could be at play. Spouses may decide to file for divorce in August, following the family vacation and before the kids start school. But what explains the spike in … [Read more...] about It’s the Season for a (Collaborative) Divorce
Couples divorcing are representing themselves or relying on information from the internet or a self-help center to guide them. Having practiced family law in Northern and Southern California counties for 38 years, I’ve watched the practice of family law evolve. It used to be that most couples seeking divorce or legal separation had lawyers to represent each spouse, or at least one … [Read more...] about Self-Help is Not the Best Remedy When it Comes to Divorce
There is a discouraging lack of civility and professionalism among litigation attorneys which has tarnished the legal community for the past 30 years as set forth in a recent California Court of Appeal decision. The case of Lasalle v. Vogel, G055381 (2019) is a legal malpractice action, wherein the Court of Appeal noted thirty years ago, in 1989, that attorneys are ‘officers of the court’ … [Read more...] about Embracing the Professionalism of Collaborative Divorce Lawyers
If you’re over 50 and getting a divorce, you are not alone. The “Gray Divorce” phenomena refers to the increasing number of people who divorce later in life. Twenty years ago, 10% of divorces involved people over 50. Today, that number is up to 25% per Dr. Susan Brown, Bowling Green State University sociology professor and co-author of The Gray Divorce Revolution. There’s less … [Read more...] about Gray Divorce: Over 50 and Getting a Divorce, Now What?
There is no bright line test when choosing between Divorce Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. However, examining the following six factors will be helpful in making a good decision: 1. How important to you is having a “good divorce?” The primary difference between Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce is the level of support you will get while negotiating. Collaborative … [Read more...] about 6 Factors to Consider When Deciding Which Process is Right for You
Collaborative Practice utilizes a team approach to the divorce process. As a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), I want to share with you how I see tremendous value in a team approach to asset division. The typical litigation model using a divorce attorney includes a listing of your assets and a “reasonably fair” division worked out by the … [Read more...] about The Benefits of a Collaborative Approach in Division of Assets and Debts
Is an amicable divorce possible? If so, how is it done? Many want to have an amicable divorce but worry about how to talk about financial concerns, how to file for divorce and how to parent children without starting World War III. Couples are used to arguing about finances and often feel they get stuck in unproductive arguments and that they can’t communicate. Here are five … [Read more...] about Five Things you Need for an Amicable Divorce
The financial professional in a collaborative divorce plays a critical role. There are two financial professional roles and they are distinct, the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, CDFA® and the Divorce Forensic CPA. This blog will address the role of the CDFA®. A future blog will talk about the role of the Divorce Forensic CPA. The Certified Divorce Financial Analyst … [Read more...] about The Role of the Financial Professional in A Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative Divorce: Here’s how a Divorce Coach can help: Dealing with a divorce is often more distressing than people realize, and, there is a process to meet your needs, and the needs of your family; Collaborative Divorce offers clients wrap around services for all phases and stages of the divorce process. With Collaborative Divorce, not only does each spouse have an attorney, each … [Read more...] about How Can A Divorce Coach Help In Your Collaborative Divorce?
What is Disclosure? If you get divorced in California you have to Disclose… period, end of story. What does that mean and is anything different in a Collaborative Divorce? “Disclosure” refers to financial disclosures. What do we have, own, owe and make. It’s an inventory of everything you own (assets), everything you owe (debts), and all of the income for both … [Read more...] about Financial Disclosures in Collaborative Divorce
You may be asking yourself whether you and your spouse are good candidates for a Collaborative Divorce. The following list of 7 attributes will help you determine whether you and your spouse are good candidates. The more you either one or both of you match these qualities, the better suitable you may be for a Collaborative Divorce. Ability to see the viewpoint of your spouse. … [Read more...] about Will a Collaborative Divorce Work For Us?
One of our Collaborative Divorce Marin County Professionals recently published an article in Psychology Today. A new approach can improve post-divorce life for the whole family. I want to tell you something important: I know what a bad divorce can be like for a child. My parents continued their warfare for 45 years, until Mom was no longer alive. My 95-year-old dad referred … [Read more...] about Is it Possible to Have a “Better Divorce?”
The anger and other emotions that are usually a part of divorce make it pretty hard to be respectful—Can the Collaborative Divorce Process enable the parties to find some level of respect for each other? There are many metaphors people use to describe going through a divorce–one is the “leaver” and the other is the “leavee;” one is the windshield and the other is the bug; one is the bat … [Read more...] about Does Respect Have a Place in a Divorce?
The Role of Myths in Assessing Readiness for Collaboration Myth #1: Because there is no Judge in the room to hold the client’s accountable, there is a myth that one client can take advantage of the other. Truth: Despite not having a Judge, there are multiple professionals in the room and the primary focus of all of them is accountability. Each party has their own team, including … [Read more...] about Unbundling Collaborative Divorce Myths