In California, we’re seeing a growing trend: during or after divorce, one parent considers moving out of state. Sometimes it’s the high cost of living. Sometimes it’s the pull of extended family in another region. Sometimes it’s a new job, or simply the desire for a fresh start. These reasons are real and valid—but for children, a move-away can feel like a second loss. First, the family breaks … [Read more...] about When One Parent Wants to Move Away: Protecting Kids in a Long-Distance Parenting Reality
Children
Why Some Adult Children Disconnect From a Parent During and After Divorce
The estrangement of adult children from their divorcing parents is a complex issue with multiple contributing factors. Key Insights: Divorce often strains and sometimes severs the attachment bonds between parents and their adult children. With increased life expectancy, divorcing parents today may have adult children spanning ages 18 to 70, along with grandchildren and … [Read more...] about Why Some Adult Children Disconnect From a Parent During and After Divorce
Protecting The Innocent: Navigating Custody Battles for Children of Divorce
Amidst the challenges of the past few years, children have not only grappled with the anxiety brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, but also with the invisible "virus" of parental conflict stemming from divorce proceedings, custody evaluations, and legal battles. The prolonged turmoil between parents leaves children in a state of instability, impacting their emotional well-being and long-term … [Read more...] about Protecting The Innocent: Navigating Custody Battles for Children of Divorce
What Do We Tell The Kids About Our Divorce? Part 3
Understandably parents belabor or avoid thinking about or preparing what they are going to tell their kids. So often, parents are just trying to survive the relationship turmoil and it’s tough to find the internal or external space to plan what you are going to tell the kids. Fortunately, much is written about this topic and many experts agree on traps parents should aim to avoid and the … [Read more...] about What Do We Tell The Kids About Our Divorce? Part 3
How Do We Tell The Kids About Our Divorce? – Part 2
It’s taken months or years for you and your partner to decide the next step is divorce. As adults, you’ve had a lot of time to consider and process this change. This is not the case for kids - even if they’ve seen a lot of fighting and know things are rough between their parents. Because your kids are likely in such a different head space than you about the parent problems, one of the best … [Read more...] about How Do We Tell The Kids About Our Divorce? – Part 2
Scared To Divorce: Is This The Last Christmas (or Diwali or Hanukkah)?
For parents who are considering divorce, the prospect of having to change holiday traditions can be daunting. From the time the kids are very small, many parents love to create traditions for religious and civic holidays. Repeating those traditions by having the same foods and activities can be deeply grounding and fulfilling for children and parents alike. When you divorce, change is part of the … [Read more...] about Scared To Divorce: Is This The Last Christmas (or Diwali or Hanukkah)?
Co-Parenting With Your Calendar: How Annual Coordination of Holidays & Vacations Can Save Money and Stress
Child custody matters can be challenging to navigate, as families adjust to utilizing their regular parenting plan and adjust for important holidays and vacations. In California, it is crucial for parents to be aware of certain key aspects to ensure a smooth co-parenting experience. Here are some valuable insights that may shed light on what you need to know about child custody in … [Read more...] about Co-Parenting With Your Calendar: How Annual Coordination of Holidays & Vacations Can Save Money and Stress
Is a Bad Marriage or Divorce Harder for Children?
When marriage is plagued by intense conflict, it may be more beneficial for the children if the parents choose to separate and divorce rather than staying in an unhappy and tumultuous relationship just “for the sake of the children.” By ending a toxic marriage, parents can strive to create an environment for the children where conflict is minimized and replaced with civility. The more parents … [Read more...] about Is a Bad Marriage or Divorce Harder for Children?
How Will I Ever Be Able To Co-Parent Effectively With My Toxic Ex-Spouse
Coparenting with a toxic ex-spouse can be challenging, but it's not impossible to find ways to navigate the situation effectively for the well-being of your children. Over 30 years of research indicate that that ongoing parental conflict increases children’s risk of psychological and social problems during and after divorce and into adulthood. The higher your conflict, the more likely your … [Read more...] about How Will I Ever Be Able To Co-Parent Effectively With My Toxic Ex-Spouse
How To Develop A Great Parenting Plan
One of the most important parts of a parenting plan is the ‘how’ is the ‘who’ doing the ‘how’. Vanilla or 31 Flavors I wish every family had a chance to preview a vanilla parenting plan common in the courts compared to a carefully crafted parenting plan designed by the parents with the help of the collaborative divorce professionals including a child specialist. Vanilla ice cream is the most … [Read more...] about How To Develop A Great Parenting Plan
Divorce: What and How to Tell the Children
There is no denying it. Children have a difficult time accepting the fact that their parents are getting a divorce. It is possible to help them through it, so it is less traumatizing. How this works depends on the parents themselves. How Do We Tell the Kids About the Divorce? The # 1 rule is that the parents need to be together when they tell the children about the … [Read more...] about Divorce: What and How to Tell the Children
How Does Divorce Conflict Impact Children?
No matter how polite and civil a couple is to each other during a separation, the divorce proceedings can still have a negative impact on the children. If there is domestic violence involved, and the children have witnessed it, or even witnessed their parents arguing with each other, children naturally become anxious and are concerned about their own welfare. Questions Children Have When … [Read more...] about How Does Divorce Conflict Impact Children?
Who, When, What: 3 Tips for Telling Children About Divorce
The day parents talk to their children about their separation will be a day pressed into the memory of most kids. Most remember vividly where they were in the room, the words that were used, and who was present. That’s why it’s really important to think hard about what you’re going to tell them and when you’re going to tell them. Here are some tips for how to tell your children that … [Read more...] about Who, When, What: 3 Tips for Telling Children About Divorce
13 Tips for Talking with Your Children About Your Separation and Divorce
The following tips will help you prepare to talk with your children about your separation and divorce. You care about doing the best you can for your children because you are reading this article. Give yourself permission not to be perfect. No one is. This is a stressful time for all of you. Remember to keep taking slow, deep breaths --- you and your children will get … [Read more...] about 13 Tips for Talking with Your Children About Your Separation and Divorce
Tips for Telling Your Kids that You Are Getting a Divorce
In Collaborative Divorce, we have the benefit of using a professional team. The team includes mental health professionals and child specialists who provide expertise regarding talking to children about divorce. The mental health professionals serve as divorce coaches for the parties going through the divorce, while the child specialist is a mental health professional specifically … [Read more...] about Tips for Telling Your Kids that You Are Getting a Divorce
Divorce: How Do I Tell My Kids?
January is Child Centered Divorce Awareness Month, so it is the ideal time to discuss how to tell your kids that you are getting a divorce. This is always a difficult thing to do but we have some recommendations to help you through this. Both Parents Should Meet Together with the Children Unless there are issues of domestic violence or child abuse, both parents should meet together … [Read more...] about Divorce: How Do I Tell My Kids?
Understanding How Divorce Impacts Children
There is no way to keep your divorce from having an impact on your children. All research shows that divorce is hard for them. However, the level of conflict they experience during and after the divorce period is the greatest indicator of the immediate impact on them and to their later successes in life. This includes their future socialization, their future achievements in … [Read more...] about Understanding How Divorce Impacts Children
Helping Children Weather This Pandemic
During this time of social isolation and anxiety, children experiencing their parent’s divorce have an added level of stress. Collaborative Coach JoAnn Rodrigues, LMFT, along with colleagues John Osborne, LCSW and Chandler Hoffman, PhD., want to share some insight and suggestions to parents that can help their children manage emotionally. Please note that the following information does … [Read more...] about Helping Children Weather This Pandemic
Children, Divorce and Money
In a traditional divorce, parents are often battling between themselves about how to take care of the children, both financially and emotionally, when the family is no longer living together in one household. One of our goals with our clients is to assist them with a post-divorce budget that is related to the children in ways that decreases the contention in a divorce and puts the focus on … [Read more...] about Children, Divorce and Money
Children the Wealth of Family
Often married adults include as one of their New Year’s resolutions that they are going to “start a new life” by filing for divorce. For this reason, there is an increase in divorce filings in January. This is why January is National Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month. When parents file for divorce, how does it affect their children? It depends. For decades, the … [Read more...] about Children the Wealth of Family
Child-Centered Divorce: How to Focus On the Children’s Needs
Divorce is never easy on anyone but can be especially difficult for children involved. To allow the process and transition to be as smooth as possible for children, using the framework of a Child-Centered Divorce can provide the best results. In a Child-Center Divorce, the divorce process is focused on the best situation and circumstances for the couple’s children while leaving the … [Read more...] about Child-Centered Divorce: How to Focus On the Children’s Needs
How Does Divorce Impact Children?
If you ask any adult how their parents’ divorce affected them as children, you’ll get a sad story, even if it has been many years. It is difficult for children of all ages when their family changes. Occasionally, when the level of conflict has been high, the divorce can come as a relief. More often, though, divorce is experienced by children as extremely stressful, with lots of … [Read more...] about How Does Divorce Impact Children?