Divorce is one of life’s most stressful experiences. In fact, decades of research have consistently ranked divorce among the most significant life stressors, alongside the death of a loved one and serious illness. It affects not only your emotions, but your sleep, immune system, concentration, decision-making, and physical health.
The good news? While you may not be able to eliminate the stress of divorce, you can reduce its impact. Research shows that small, consistent habits can help your brain and body recover from stress more quickly, allowing you to make better decisions, parent more effectively, and move through this transition with greater resilience.
Here are five of the most powerful and scientifically supported ways to care for yourself during divorce.
1. Laugh More Than You Feel Like It
When you’re going through a divorce, laughter may feel impossible—or even inappropriate. But your brain doesn’t distinguish much between spontaneous laughter and intentional laughter.
Studies have found that laughter:
- Lowers cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone
- Releases endorphins, your natural mood boosters
- Reduces muscle tension
- Improves immune function
- Helps people recover more quickly from stressful events
This doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means intentionally giving your nervous system a break.
Try:
- Watching a favorite comedy before bed
- Spending time with friends who make you laugh
- Listening to humorous podcasts
- Playing silly games with your children
- Finding moments of humor in everyday life
Many people tell themselves they’ll laugh again when the divorce is over. Research suggests the opposite may be more helpful: laugh now to help yourself get through it.
2. Move Your Body
Exercise is one of the most effective stress-management tools available and one of the most underused during divorce. Physical activity helps your body process stress hormones that accumulate during prolonged emotional distress.
Research consistently shows that regular exercise:
- Reduces depression
- Reduces anxiety
- Improves sleep quality
- Increases energy
- Improves concentration
- Enhances self-esteem
Exercise also increases production of brain chemicals such as serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins, all of which help regulate mood.
You don’t have to become a marathon runner. Even a brisk 20–30 minute walk several times each week can significantly improve mood.
Bonus: If you can exercise outdoors, the benefits increase even more.
3. Spend Time in Nature
Sometimes the best therapy session is a walk through the trees. Researchers studying “nature therapy” have found that spending time outdoors can significantly reduce stress.
Time in natural settings has been associated with:
- Lower cortisol levels
- Reduced blood pressure
- Improved mood
- Better concentration
- Reduced anxiety
- Greater emotional resilience
Some studies suggest that even 20 minutes in a park can produce measurable reductions in stress hormones.
Nature also provides something many divorcing people desperately need: perspective.
The trees are not arguing.
The river is not keeping score.
The ocean reminds us that life is bigger than this difficult season.
You don’t need a wilderness adventure. Regular contact with any green space matters.
4. Don’t Carry This Alone
Perhaps the strongest predictor of resilience during stressful life events is social support. Research repeatedly shows that people who feel supported experience:
- Lower rates of depression
- Better physical health
- Faster recovery from stressful events
- Better immune function
- Greater life satisfaction
Support can come from many places:
- Trusted friends
- Family members
- Therapists
- Divorce coaches
- Faith communities
- Divorce support groups
- Collaborative divorce professionals
One important caution:
Not all support is equally helpful. Some friends unintentionally increase stress by encouraging conflict, criticizing your spouse, or fueling anger.
The most helpful supporters are those who:
- Listen more than they talk
- Help you think clearly
- Encourage healthy coping
- Support your long-term goals
- Completely understand because they’ve been there
Choose people who leave you feeling calmer, wiser, and stronger—not more upset.
5. Practice Mindfulness or Meditation
Stress keeps the brain on constant alert. During divorce, your mind may replay conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, or stay awake planning for every possible outcome.
Mindfulness helps interrupt this cycle.
Hundreds of studies have shown that regular meditation can:
- Reduce anxiety
- Lower blood pressure
- Improve sleep
- Increase emotional regulation
- Reduce rumination (getting stuck in repetitive negative thoughts)
- Improve attention and decision-making
Brain imaging studies even show that regular mindfulness practice changes areas of the brain involved in emotional regulation and stress response.
The goal isn’t to stop your thoughts. The goal is to notice them without letting them take over. Even five or ten minutes a day can begin making a difference.
To get started, meditation groups or classes give your body the added benefit of feeling the calm radiating off others. You can also try:
- Guided meditation apps
- Slow breathing exercises
- Body scan meditations
- Mindful walking outdoors
If you’re struggling with being able to sit for meditation, my YouTube video on how to reduce rumination is at https://youtu.be/-DyqDH3tSF4
Give Yourself Permission to Heal
Many people treat self-care as something they’ll get around to after the divorce is finished. But these practices aren’t luxuries. They’re investments in your ability to make thoughtful decisions, care for your children, and protect your long-term health.
You don’t need to do everything.
Start with one small habit:
- Take a walk.
- Watch something funny.
- Sit quietly for five minutes.
- Call a supportive friend.
- Spend time under the trees.
Small actions, repeated consistently, have a remarkable way of changing how we experience even life’s biggest challenges.
