When people are involved in a war, even if they’re just bystanders, they have to choose sides, and, when they do, they certainly are not going to have a lot of contact with the enemy. In contentious divorces, we see this all of the time. Extended family, friends, and children feel pulled into different camps. Relationships are lost, sometimes forever.
Collaborative divorce aims to preserve relationships, both within the immediate family and in the wider community of friends and extended family. We are NOT having a war, here. We are transitioning into a different kind of family. No one has to choose sides. In the end, we’ll find a creative solution to making this transition in a way that feels like a win/win for all.
For parents who want their kids to thrive both during and post-divorce, this emphasis on developing a businesslike and polite co-parenting relationship, with a non-blaming cooperative “divorce story” to be shared with the wider community, is priceless. Because no one wants to live in a war zone.