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It Takes a Village to Get Through a Divorce

June 9, 2021 By Jennifer Napper

“It takes a village to raise a child” is an African proverb that means that an entire community of people must interact with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment.

Take a village divorce

We have many villages throughout our lives.  There is our village through school—including parents, teachers, and friends; a village through our career—mentors, networking groups, colleagues, financial advisor; a village through parenting—aunts and uncles, sisters and brothers, grandparents, physicians, teachers, counselors; and a village to assist with an aging parent—siblings, medical professionals, therapists, geriatric specialists, and community services.

It Also Takes a Village to Get Divorced

The community support for a family to get through what is one of the most difficult and emotional events in their family life is essential.  Divorce is not a do-it-yourself process.  It requires support and dedication from friends, family, and professionals.  The Collaborative Divorce Team is a group of professionals focused on helping couples complete a divorce with a level of attention, commitment, and dedication to the family needs that the traditional, court-based attorney vs attorney, divorce process does not have.

If you are looking for an interest-centered divorce you will want to expand your village of professionals.

In a Collaborative Divorce model, each spouse has a Consulting Attorney who provides legal advice, advocates for your best interest, and works collectively with other professionals to craft a settlement that is approved by both spouses.  Unlike the win-lose attorney approach of court-based divorces, collaborative-trained attorneys guide you with a tone of respect and care towards a goal to empower you to make education-based decisions that impact your future.

For couples with minor children, consider a Family Therapist who is trained to interpret the divorce process through the lens of a child, communicate best practices for handling communications to the children, and assist you with establishing a child-centered parenting plan. Divorce Coaches can assist both spouses with communication flow during intense negotiation sessions and support you while grappling with the grief and anger that comes with dissolving a marriage.

Dividing assets and income in a divorce can be detailed and overwhelming.  You may have to make decisions regarding the primary home, family business, retirement assets, stock options, pensions, health insurance, taxes and college expenses.  A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) understands these complexities and will guide you through a process to seek to arrive at a mutually agreed-upon settlement through negotiation.  The CDFA® will calculate scenarios to project the short- and long-term impact of various settlement options so you both understand the financial consequences of the divorce agreement.

Depending upon the complexities of your situation, you may expand your village even more.  Often, we invite other professionals for advice and guidance including home appraisers, mortgage brokers, CPA’s, business valuation experts, estate attorneys and any other professional who will add value to your understanding of your situation so you can make informed decisions.

Collaborative Divorce Allows for Creative Solutions

The Collaborative Divorce process creates the village needed to accomplish all your goals in your divorce.  The process is private, respectful and invites creative ideas and solutions.  The specialists in your village have the training, experience, and education, but most importantly have the commitment and compassion that Collaborative professionals bring into the process.  We understand that you want do not want the stress and cost of going to court. We understand you want to maintain control of the process with a clear picture of the outcome.  We are going to work together as a team from beginning to end focusing on a win-win for the entire family.

The Collaborative Divorce Team is YOUR village!!

Jennifer Napper, CFP®, CDFA® is Vice President, Investments with Napper Wealth Planning of Raymond James in Walnut Creek, CA.  She is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), specializing in helping anyone facing divorce to protect their assets as well as plan for a brighter future.  She can be reached at 925 952-5262 and Jennifer.Napper@raymondjames.com. Learn more about her at www.JenniferNapper.com.

Raymond James and its advisors do not offer tax or legal advice.  You should discuss any tax or legal matters with the appropriate professional.

Raymond James & Associates, Inc., member of New York Stock Exchange/SIPC

Filed Under: Blog, Collaborative Divorce Tagged With: Collaborative

About Jennifer Napper

Jennifer Napper is a Collaborative Divorce Financial Professional who specializes in working with families facing complex life transitions so they make wise decisions about money with clear objectives and ways to achieve them.
Jennifer’s Profile | Jennifer’s Website

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Anonymous Client

My ex was a basket case when we started.  Her coach really helped and (the financial professional) was great at being super patient with her.  I think if we’d tried to do the divorce any other way, we’d still be fighting.

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