Most people have heard divorce horror stories from a friend, a relative, or a coworker. Everyone has seen movies where there is a divorce battle based on true events and those kinds of cases really do happen, but it doesn’t have to happen to you. Instead, consider using a “No Court” option such as Collaborative Divorce with a team approach to resolving the case. One of the benefits of trying the Collaborative Divorce process first is that if it does not successfully resolve your case, you still have the option to go to court and let the judge decide. You’re not losing the right to ‘go to court’ by choosing the Collaborative Divorce process, and what you are gaining is the ability to save time and money and achieve a less stressful and more satisfying outcome.
When Collaborative Divorce Works
Collaborative Divorce works when a couple is willing to put aside their emotions about the ending of the relationship, or when each person is willing to learn to manage those emotions so they do not interfere with a successful outcome. A garden variety divorce lawyer will give you legal advice, and the difference with Collaborative Divorce is that you now only have your own attorney, you also have a complete team of professionals to address the legal, emotional and financial fallout when a marriage ends.
Collaborative Divorce saves time and money. One of the first thoughts someone has when deciding to divorce is, “What is this going to cost and what will my financial situation look like after the divorce?” One member of the Collaborative Divorce team is a neutral financial professional to help to identify and solve financial complexities to help the divorcing couple manage their financial futures. The Collaborative Divorce team can’t fix what went wrong in the marriage relationship, but the Collaborative Divorce tam can help each spouse craft a new future to be financially secure and successfully co-parent children.
Collaborative Divorce coaches are also part of the Collaborative Divorce team. They help keep the couple focused on managing their emotions to enable them make better legal decisions and get through the painful process of divorce more efficiently. The coaches can also help refocus the couple, so they progress toward an amicable post-divorce relationship, rather than getting bogged down in rehashing the same old arguments that went on for years in the marriage.
When Collaborative Divorce Doesn’t Work
A Collaborative Divorce may not work when one or both spouses is unable to put aside their emotions and focus on the future. When one or both spouses only want to keep fighting about the past and keep blaming the other for every little thing, then a Collaborative Divorce has less chance of success. When parents try to use their children as a weapon in the divorce negotiations or withhold money to try to gain leverage, these are red flags that make it less likely a Collaborative Divorce will work out.
If a couple will commit to cooperating and be willing to work with a team of professionals, and agreed to concentrate on the future instead of fighting about the past, then those are all good signs that the Collaborative Divorce process will work.