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Children and Divorce

January 17, 2020 By Emily M. De Falla

Children of divorce

The research is crystal clear — children of divorce fare much better when parents are able to protect them from the adults’ conflict.

They do this by making a conscious choice to prioritize their children’s interests, control their urge to fight, and work as a team.  This does not mean that you give in to the other parent on everything to avoid a fight or give up your rights.  But it does mean that you learn how to work together, communicate respectfully, and when the discussion becomes difficult, ask yourself, “How will this decision impact the children?” Of course, this is easier said than done, but the good news is that there is a process that can help families do just that.  It is called Collaborative Divorce.

The Collaborative Divorce process helps the parents prioritize their children’s well-being by:

  • Facilitating collaborative discussions and
  • providing a specialized professional team to support the children and the parents.

The Collaborative Divorce process is designed to assist parents work as a team to address their children’s needs.  The goal is to shift the focus from the parents’ separation to the children’s future.  The professional team is specially trained and experienced in working with families in conflict.  They help the parents keep the children as the centerpiece of all their decisions and teach them skills and techniques to keep their emotions from impacting the children.

Divorce is emotionally taxing, and even the most loving parents can become upset and lose sight of their main goal.  Collaborative Divorce guides the parents through every step of the discussion, mediating when necessary, and keeping the narrative focused on the children’s needs.  Each parent has both a divorce coach and an attorney to help them process their feelings during and outside of the meetings.  Professional third-party perspectives facilitate positive communication and positive outcomes for the children.

If you are concerned that your divorce might hurt your children, consider Collaborative Divorce.  It might be just what you are looking for.

Filed Under: Blog, Collaborative Divorce Tagged With: Child-Centered Divorce

About Emily M. De Falla

Emily De Falla is a Family Law Attorney practicing in the Bay Area. With the Collaborative Divorce method, Emily helps divorcing couples reduce tension and conflict, allowing them to reach durable agreements outside of the court system where families don’t belong.
Emily’s Profile | Emily’s Website

What our clients are saying…

Anonymous Client – San Jose

Praises of the Collaborative Process

I often tell people that my divorce was transformational… and in a very positive way.  They don’t believe me!  But it’s true.  I came into the collaborative process deeply saddened and scared.  My coach and lawyer, really all of the collaborative team, helped me to find my center and my voice.  Several years have passed, and I can honestly say that my ex and I have an okay relationship, my kids are doing very well, and I have surpassed my wildest dreams in terms of both professional and personal success.  Many divorces are expensive.  Mine, though was priceless.  I’m deeply grateful to my team and sing the praises of the collaborative process every time I can.

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