Even when couples know that divorce is inevitable, many are afraid to venture forward out of fear that they will not financially survive. Issues such as how to split the assets and divide the cash flow may be of concern, but with the help of neutral financial professionals, those fears can be dispelled, and one can financially survive a divorce. From the Beginning of the Divorce Working with … [Read more...] about How To Financially Survive Divorce
Best Way To Do A Pre-Nuptial Agreement? Collaboratively
Some people feel there is a stigma around premarital agreements, but a premarital agreement can be a vital part of a marriage. For couples who do not have such an agreement, the State of California provides a premarital agreement, which is the law of community property. Many couples wish to create their own agreement which defines how property and income will be treated and “characterized” during … [Read more...] about Best Way To Do A Pre-Nuptial Agreement? Collaboratively
How Do You To Have a Non-Adversarial Divorce?
When people consider separation, sometimes high-profile divorces come to mind. A tabloid divorce conjures up visions of anger, money, and the ultimate goal of coming out on top. A Traditional litigated divorce is when each party has their own lawyer. They generally don’t work together for settlement, but each spouse fights the other over division of assets, child custody, and child and … [Read more...] about How Do You To Have a Non-Adversarial Divorce?
Divorce Misconception: A Cheating Spouse Helps Your Case
You may blame your spouse for causing the end of the marriage by having an affair. For some people, cheating is anything physical. Some people see cheating as an emotional affair with another person. Some people could include financial deception as cheating. Whether it's financial cheating, emotional cheating, or an actual affair, the state of California does not care how the marriage … [Read more...] about Divorce Misconception: A Cheating Spouse Helps Your Case
Divorce Fears – Will I Be Able To Make It On My Own?
Starting the divorce process is often full of fear. When couples are going into the unknown and not sure what their future will hold. The party who generates the most income, fears losing money and the one who generates less fears not having enough money to live comfortably and to make it on their own. In traditional litigation, parties are pitted against each other, each trying to be the … [Read more...] about Divorce Fears – Will I Be Able To Make It On My Own?
What Does a Divorce Coach Tell People Asking About Divorce?
Major life transitions impact people in different ways emotionally. If we look at the top 10 Most Stressful Life events, divorce ranks second after the death of a loved one (spouse, partner, child). A divorce coach is a licensed mental health professional who helps individuals navigate emotional challenges experienced during the divorce process so you can come out on the other side of the … [Read more...] about What Does a Divorce Coach Tell People Asking About Divorce?
When Should You Use a Forensic Accountant For Your Divorce?
Some divorces have complex financial issues. In such cases, a forensic accountant can be called in to analyze financial documents to help divorcing couples in the collaborative process, or in court when litigation is involved, to determine the value of assets and how those assets should be divided. They also assist in decision-making on child and spousal support. Not every divorcing couple … [Read more...] about When Should You Use a Forensic Accountant For Your Divorce?
What Is Divorce With Respect?
A common misconception is that a divorce will end in anger and bitterness, with the former spouses hoping never to speak to each other again. Although that may happen, it doesn’t have to be that way. Those who divorce with “respect” can move forward with their new lives without animosity. It may not be easy, but it can be done. What Does It Mean to Divorce with Respect? Divorce with … [Read more...] about What Is Divorce With Respect?
How Gray Divorce Affects Family Relationships: Adult Children Can Hurt Too.
When you hear the word “relationship,” what comes to mind? Many of us think about the feelings we associate with romantic partnerships, whether warm and loving or painful and heartbreaking. Yet as Pepperdine University's Dr. Louis Cozolino writes, the field of interpersonal neurobiology understands humans as individuals born into relationships. Through myriad relationships from birth to … [Read more...] about How Gray Divorce Affects Family Relationships: Adult Children Can Hurt Too.
How Can Gray Divorce Affect Middle-Aged Children?
KEY POINTS Middle-aged children of divorcing parents report a wide range of painful feelings and experiences, including worry, irritability, depression, and grief. Parental gray divorce can overwhelm middle-aged children who worry about their parents and feel pulled into alliances with parents, siblings, spouses, and extended family members. Middle-aged children of gray divorce benefit … [Read more...] about How Can Gray Divorce Affect Middle-Aged Children?
Collaborative Divorce: When it Works and Why it Doesn’t
Most people have heard divorce horror stories from a friend, a relative, or a coworker. Everyone has seen movies where there is a divorce battle based on true events and those kinds of cases really do happen, but it doesn’t have to happen to you. Instead, consider using a “No Court” option such as Collaborative Divorce with a team approach to resolving the case. One of the benefits of trying the … [Read more...] about Collaborative Divorce: When it Works and Why it Doesn’t
Gray Divorce Can Impact Adult Children in Surprising Ways
Key Points: Adult children often continue to view their parents as a unit. When their divorcing parents are 50 and older, called "gray divorce," this unit can rupture and be gone forever. Adult children say they feel the burden of the changing roles, family traditions, and rituals. They must plan vacations and holidays differently. Will they need to schedule two different times to see each … [Read more...] about Gray Divorce Can Impact Adult Children in Surprising Ways
Why a Collaborative Divorce is Good for Business Owners
Business owners often worry that a divorce will ruin their finances and their ability to keep the business afloat. They think they may lose everything and have nothing left for their future. If you are a business owner, a Collaborative Divorce, which works for almost everyone no matter the circumstances, may be the answer you are looking for. A Collaborative Divorce Keeps Private Information … [Read more...] about Why a Collaborative Divorce is Good for Business Owners
Common Divorce Misconceptions – Mom Always Gets Custody
There was a time, decades ago, when many married women were stay-at-home moms and dads were the ones who went off to work every day, and when, in divorce, there was a preference for awarding custody of the children to the mother. Those days are gone and the idea that moms always get custody is now just a myth. There are many different factors that are considered, and the court does not favor … [Read more...] about Common Divorce Misconceptions – Mom Always Gets Custody
Advantages of a Neutral Financial Professional in a Divorce
When couples begin a marital dissolution and choose the Collaborative Divorce process, we often find that one person is thoroughly knowledgeable about their finances and the other one knows very little. In these cases, one spouse has paid the bills during the marriage and has been in charge of investments. That person has taken care of all the financial obligations. Suddenly, when the divorce … [Read more...] about Advantages of a Neutral Financial Professional in a Divorce
Divorce with Respect Week
Divorcing couples almost always start at completely different places: one has been thinking about it for a long time, and one is completely caught off guard. Beth Proudfoot, LFMT, after thirty years of marriage, was shocked to her core. Given the choice, though, she decided on a Collaborative Divorce. What followed was a complete change in her life trajectory. “For weeks after … [Read more...] about Divorce with Respect Week
How Do I Obtain Health Insurance After My Divorce?
One issue that must be addressed in a divorce settlement is how health insurance for the spouses and the children will be handled after the divorce is final. Why Health Insurance is a Divorce Issue Most Americans obtain their health insurance through a group insurance plan offered by their employer. Employees can add family members to their plan as Dependents with premiums being paid … [Read more...] about How Do I Obtain Health Insurance After My Divorce?
What Is a QDRO?
When one or both spouses own a retirement plan, like a 401K or pension plan, a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) may need to be drafted in order to tell the retirement plan what to do with the plan. Having a QDRO drafted and processed takes a lot of time and patience. When a spouse has worked and contributed earnings to a retirement plan during the marriage, then those marital … [Read more...] about What Is a QDRO?
Can You or Should You Force Your Spouse Out of the House?
The short answer to the question of “Can I or should I force my spouse out of the house” is a resounding “No!” In California, there can be consequences if your spouse is forced to leave their home without adequate financial support. Why You Should Not Force Your Spouse Out of the House There are quite a few reasons why you should not pressure your spouse out of the house. Here are some … [Read more...] about Can You or Should You Force Your Spouse Out of the House?
Avoid These Parenting Mistakes During a Divorce
Children of all ages are stressed when their parents get a divorce. It is even more stressful for minor children who feel their own future is uncertain. They don’t know the impact the divorce will have on their own lives. Parents often make mistakes, generally unwittingly, that can make the process more difficult. 6 Mistakes Parents Make During Divorce Some of the most … [Read more...] about Avoid These Parenting Mistakes During a Divorce
Child Custody: The Right of First Refusal
The term “right of first refusal” has its origin in contract law. For example, if a tenant has the right of first refusal, before the owner can sell the property, the tenant must first be given the opportunity to purchase it before the owner can sell it to anyone else. When parents have the right of first refusal in their parenting plan (or if the court orders it), if one parent, during … [Read more...] about Child Custody: The Right of First Refusal
What Makes a High Asset Divorce Different?
The divorce process is always stressful even for couples who agree a divorce is in their best interest. The stress is compounded when there are a lot of assets involved. The one who generates most of the income fears losing a lot of money. The one who generates less fears not getting enough. In an ordinary divorce, couples may own a home, one or two vehicles, and maybe a … [Read more...] about What Makes a High Asset Divorce Different?
How To Save Money in Your Divorce or Ways To Waste It
No one would disagree that saving money, time, and energy in your divorce is good for mind, body, and wallet. If your goal is efficiency and being mindful about how your actions affect the outcome of your divorce in terms of money in the bank and time it takes, just do the opposite of these top tips. Sweat the big stuff and the small stuff.Fight over every single thing, no matter the … [Read more...] about How To Save Money in Your Divorce or Ways To Waste It
Financial Needs as You Begin the Divorce Process
When a couple files for divorce, they both have some immediate financial needs they must work out. Their income has been supporting one household and they must figure out how that income will support two households. Even if one of those households becomes a small apartment that one spouse moves into, it still increases the couple’s expenses. California Temporary Restraining … [Read more...] about Financial Needs as You Begin the Divorce Process
Are You Getting Remarried Soon?
Some Financial Considerations You Probably Should Consider I congratulate you and wish you all the best. However, I do want to provide you some important statistical information and advise you to consider protecting your assets just in case sometime in the future your remarriage turns out not to be what you or your future spouse had hoped for. Did you know that 50 percent of all first … [Read more...] about Are You Getting Remarried Soon?
Tips For Making Divorce Easier
1) Manage your Emotions Your emotions can easily run away with you during the divorce process. You may end up making decisions from an angry, fearful, vengeful, or frustrated place. These emotional decisions can have long-term impacts that you didn’t expect or that you didn’t bother to take the time to think about. Because of this, one of the best ways to make divorce easier is … [Read more...] about Tips For Making Divorce Easier
Tax Filing Issues in Divorce
Two tax issues frequently need to be addressed in divorce: One, if there are qualifying children, which parent gets to claim the children as dependents? Two, which parent may be entitled to claim Head of Household filing status. The following is a general discussion of the rules. Dependency Exemptions The IRS rules provide that the “custodial parent” is the parent entitled … [Read more...] about Tax Filing Issues in Divorce
What Are the Requirements For A Divorce in California
A divorce generally begins in California when one party files a divorce petition in the court. There is a filing fee, but if one cannot afford it, one can apply for a waiver. California is a no-fault state, which means one does not have to prove your spouse did anything wrong. You can get a divorce even if your spouse does not want one. There are some steps you must take and … [Read more...] about What Are the Requirements For A Divorce in California
Common Financial Fears in Divorce
Going through a divorce is stressful in many ways. One of the most common stressors in a divorce is financial fear. Both spouses have worries or fears about what the financial future holds for them. Common financial questions each divorcing spouse asks themselves, their attorneys, and financial professionals are: What am I going to walk away with?What am I going to have after … [Read more...] about Common Financial Fears in Divorce
Dividing Cryptocurrency and NFTs in a Divorce
A relatively new issue that is coming up in a divorce is how to divide digital assets. These are non-fungible tokens (NFTs) like bitcoins. If the spouse who has been buying these digital assets reveals the assets as he or she is required to do according to the law, they can be identified and divided equally between the spouses if they were purchased with community property … [Read more...] about Dividing Cryptocurrency and NFTs in a Divorce
Divorce: What and How to Tell the Children
There is no denying it. Children have a difficult time accepting the fact that their parents are getting a divorce. It is possible to help them through it, so it is less traumatizing. How this works depends on the parents themselves. How Do We Tell the Kids About the Divorce? The # 1 rule is that the parents need to be together when they tell the children about the … [Read more...] about Divorce: What and How to Tell the Children
Summertime Plans and Co-Parenting
Summertime brings about new challenges for divorced parents. When school is no longer in session, the needs of children change. Considerate parents who are flexible and accommodate each other’s needs, can have a better fun filled summer with their children. Allowing one parent an extra week to plan a vacation with their kids is beneficial to all. By putting their interest … [Read more...] about Summertime Plans and Co-Parenting
Dividing Inherited Assets in a Divorce
If you inherited property, money, stocks or other assets either before your marriage or during it, the inheritance, whether cash, real estate, family heirloom, or anything at all, is your separate property. If you kept the asset separate, for example, put the inherited money in a separate bank account belonging only to you, it remains your separate property and is not divided with your spouse in … [Read more...] about Dividing Inherited Assets in a Divorce
How Does Divorce Conflict Impact Children?
No matter how polite and civil a couple is to each other during a separation, the divorce proceedings can still have a negative impact on the children. If there is domestic violence involved, and the children have witnessed it, or even witnessed their parents arguing with each other, children naturally become anxious and are concerned about their own welfare. Questions Children Have When … [Read more...] about How Does Divorce Conflict Impact Children?
Who, When, What: 3 Tips for Telling Children About Divorce
The day parents talk to their children about their separation will be a day pressed into the memory of most kids. Most remember vividly where they were in the room, the words that were used, and who was present. That’s why it’s really important to think hard about what you’re going to tell them and when you’re going to tell them. Here are some tips for how to tell your children that … [Read more...] about Who, When, What: 3 Tips for Telling Children About Divorce
Your Divorce Is Over Now What?
It can be a tricky process to begin your new beginning. Here’s the advice to follow after your divorce is finalized. Start at the End: Finish Your Estate Planning If you haven’t started your estate planning, now is the time to begin. Especially if you have children, consider who you want things left to and which things to leave. Be sure to think in the long term: who do you … [Read more...] about Your Divorce Is Over Now What?
How Can a Divorce Coach Help You During Your Separation and Divorce?
The word “coach” has many meanings. Collaborative Divorce Coaches differ significantly from the “certified divorce coaches” who have proliferated in the past ten years. Collaborative Divorce Coaches work as part of a professional team in a voluntary divorce process called Collaborative Divorce, where a team of professionals helps you co-create your agreements respectfully without the … [Read more...] about How Can a Divorce Coach Help You During Your Separation and Divorce?
Why Does Divorce Cost So Much?
Unfortunately, when a couple goes through the divorce process, emotions run high and are often the driving force for running up the costs. Traditional litigation is notorious for taking a long time and being quite expensive. A Collaborative Divorce is less stressful and less costly. Costs of Traditional Litigation In traditional litigation, each spouse has their own private … [Read more...] about Why Does Divorce Cost So Much?
“My Fiancée Wants a Prenup, What Do I Do?”
(Phone rings, Lawyer answers): Good morning, Law Offices, how can I help you?(Potential client): I’m getting married in 6 months, and my fiancée wants a prenuptial agreement. Lawyer: I’m so glad you didn’t wait till the last minute. It can take a while to complete a prenup, and it’s better not to be under a time pressure when you already have so many other things to plan when getting … [Read more...] about “My Fiancée Wants a Prenup, What Do I Do?”
How a Pre-Marital Agreement Protects Finances
Not every couple needs a prenup or pre-marital agreement. For example, two people getting married out of college who have not accumulated any real assets and never been married before, do not need a prenuptial agreement. On the other hand, couples getting married for the second or third time and who have children from previous relationships and assets that are owned as their separate … [Read more...] about How a Pre-Marital Agreement Protects Finances
The Grief and Sadness of a Gray Divorce
Key Points Grief is a natural reaction to loss. Understanding gray divorce and the grieving process can help you and the people you cherish heal and move forward. The collaborative process can minimize pain and promote healing. "Gray divorce" is the term for a split that occurs in a couple aged 50 and older. Researchers project that as the U.S. population ages, by 2030, … [Read more...] about The Grief and Sadness of a Gray Divorce
Rebuilding Your Finances After a Divorce
Going through a divorce can play havoc with your finances. Generally, the same amount of money that supported one household must now be divided to support two of them. This often means, at least for a time, each individual’s net worth and household income will be reduced. If a couple can work together in a Collaborative Divorce process, you can establish new financial goals and … [Read more...] about Rebuilding Your Finances After a Divorce
Is There Such a Thing as a Collaborative Prenup?
When people think about Premarital Agreements (prenups), they think about divorce planning, about the doom and gloom if there’s a divorce. All marriages end – in death or divorce — but a Premarital Agreement can help you think about more than just the end of a marriage. A Premarital Agreement, particularly using a Collaborative approach, allows intended spouses to think and talk about … [Read more...] about Is There Such a Thing as a Collaborative Prenup?
I Told My Spouse I Want a Divorce – Now What?
Now that you have told your spouse you want a divorce, there are some things you should and should not do. There are laws you must follow to avoid getting into troubling situations down the line as the divorce progresses. There are also some positive steps you should be aware of and to follow these steps accordingly. What to Do After You Have Told Your Spouse You Want a … [Read more...] about I Told My Spouse I Want a Divorce – Now What?
What Is a Child Centered Divorce?
When a divorcing couple has children, it is easy for the parents to get so caught up in their own negative emotions that they don’t focus on the needs of the children. As difficult as it might be, both parents need to set aside their own emotions and focus on the well-being of their children. An easy starting point is usually that most parents can agree that they love their children, … [Read more...] about What Is a Child Centered Divorce?
Tax Issues in a California Divorce
When divorcing couples are discussing spousal support in California, they need to be aware of the tax implications of their divorce. Federal laws enacted by congress and enforced by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) are different than laws enforced by the California Franchise Tax Board (FTB). Spousal Support and Taxes IRS rules. Under federal law, a person paying spousal support may … [Read more...] about Tax Issues in a California Divorce
How to be a Co-Parent After Your Divorce
Divorce is one of the most stressful life events. If a couple has children, they will have lifelong contact because of events in the children’s lives even when they are grown. With some guidance, you and your ex can learn co-parenting skills that will improve the emotional future of you and your children. Consider Current Family Culture The first step in learning how to co-parent … [Read more...] about How to be a Co-Parent After Your Divorce
The Importance of Preserving Relationships During Divorce
Preserving relationships in a divorce is especially important when a couple shares children. And whether they’re minor children or adult children, you’re still their parents. They’re going to love both of you. The last thing children want to see is their parents at odds with each other. They don’t want the conflict. They don’t want to be caught in the middle. … [Read more...] about The Importance of Preserving Relationships During Divorce
Divorce and The Family Business
When a divorcing couple owns a family business, it complicates the parties’ financial settlement. Generally, the business will be awarded to one of the spouses and how it is valued and divided depends on the type of business that is involved. When One Spouse is a Licensed Professional and Owner of the Business When one of the spouses is a licensed professional, like a doctor, … [Read more...] about Divorce and The Family Business
Celebrating The Holidays After Divorce With 5 Parenting Tips For Sanity
The first holiday season after a separation or divorce can be difficult and challenging. Powerful memories can be stirred up about the advantages of the traditional two-parent household. It can also be a time for creativity by establishing new traditions for your household and getting the kids involved. Keeping the Status Quo: If you and the other parent want to attend holiday … [Read more...] about Celebrating The Holidays After Divorce With 5 Parenting Tips For Sanity
How Expensive Will My Divorce Be and How Long Will It Take?
The cost of your divorce case and how long it takes are mostly in the hands of you and your spouse. The cost and length of your case are dependent on the three Cs: ConflictCooperationComplexity Conflict. Definition: a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one. The more conflict, the longer and more expensive your case will be. It’s not about … [Read more...] about How Expensive Will My Divorce Be and How Long Will It Take?
COVID-19 Pandemic Causes Spike in Divorce Filings
There has been a dramatic increase in divorce filings that appears to have a direct connection to the Covid-19 pandemic. In a recent survey by the AAML (American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers), 63% of the lawyers surveyed said that the pandemic had caused an increase in the number of their cases or clients. The report also indicated that the main reason for the increase was a result … [Read more...] about COVID-19 Pandemic Causes Spike in Divorce Filings
I was shocked when my husband of thirty years told me that he wanted a divorce. In retrospect, there were a few warning signs. But I had come to a place of acceptance about my admittedly not perfect marriage and was attached to my husband and our life together. So, when he said that he didn’t love me, and hadn’t for a long time, I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I … [Read more...] about Transformational Divorce
My Divorce Was a Positive Transformation
Divorcing couples almost always start at completely different places: one has been thinking about it for a long time, and one is completely caught off guard. Beth Proudfoot, LFMT, after thirty years of marriage, was shocked to her core. Given the choice, though, she decided on a Collaborative Divorce. What followed was a complete change in her life trajectory. “For weeks after … [Read more...] about My Divorce Was a Positive Transformation
Collaborative Practice California and International Academy of Collaborative Professionals Announce Plans for Divorce with Respect Week
Divorce can be one of the most devasting and disrespectful events that someone will experience in their life. Collaborative Practice California (CPCAL) and International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) believes there is a better way that allows the couple to go through the divorce in a more dignified and respectful way. October 30 - November 5, 2021, will be Divorce with … [Read more...] about Collaborative Practice California and International Academy of Collaborative Professionals Announce Plans for Divorce with Respect Week
Communicating as a Financial Divorce Professional with Your Clients
In a collaborative divorce, spouses who can communicate with a neutral financial professional is key to helping them understand their current financial situation. This helps them reach a settlement agreement that is in the best interest of both parties. There is often an imbalance in that one spouse has less financial knowledge than the other. The collaborative process works to … [Read more...] about Communicating as a Financial Divorce Professional with Your Clients
Divorce with Respect – What a Concept!
Divorce can be a messy process. Both sides can end up saying and/or doing things they later wish they hadn’t. To Divorce with Respect means handling your divorce in a way that “if your children were in the room”, you would not have regrets. Being your “best self” enables you to treat your spouse and yourself during the divorce that creates the fertile ground for you … [Read more...] about Divorce with Respect – What a Concept!
4 Keys for Working with Your Divorce Financial Professional
One of the first things that a divorcing couple needs to do is gather your financial information. In the divorce process you will both need to have a complete picture of your financial situation before you can begin to work on a settlement agreement. In a Collaborative Divorce, this step is easier than in traditional litigation because you have the assistance of a neutral financial … [Read more...] about 4 Keys for Working with Your Divorce Financial Professional
What Is Gray Divorce? Couples Over 50 Are Divorcing in Record Numbers
The American Association of Retired Persons coined the term “gray divorce” in 2004 when it published a study about divorce at midlife and beyond. In 2012, researchers at Bowling Green State University named this phenomenon the “gray divorce revolution.” Their study found the divorce rate for the U.S. population over 50 doubled in those two decades and more than doubled for those over … [Read more...] about What Is Gray Divorce? Couples Over 50 Are Divorcing in Record Numbers
Can You Be Friends After You Get Divorced?
Divorces aren’t always acrimonious. Many are amicable, with spouses realizing that they just don’t want to be married anymore – and for one reason or another, they want to stay in touch. Can they go so far as to remain friends? It is possible to be friends with an ex-spouse. It is also possible to have that friendship take a bad turn if you don’t handle the situation … [Read more...] about Can You Be Friends After You Get Divorced?
Taking a ‘Paws’: Issues to Consider with Pet Custody
The new year brought a lot of changes for divorcing couples in 2019, especially here in California. Not only were major changes made to the tax code concerning spousal support payments, residents across the state of California welcomed Assembly Bill 2274. This bill finally gave judges in our state clear direction when it came to helping divorcing pet owners answer the all-important question: … [Read more...] about Taking a ‘Paws’: Issues to Consider with Pet Custody
The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce vs Other Options
Divorce is a complicated process because while it is a legal process it is also an emotional process, and it is a financial process. One of the main benefits of Collaborative Divorce is that it involves a team approach - a team of professionals to guide you through the legal, emotional, and financial aspects of your divorce. Collaborative Divorce - Emotional Benefits For most people … [Read more...] about The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce vs Other Options
3 Tips for Self-Care During Divorce
Taking care of yourself during the divorce process is extremely important. People going through a divorce benefit from remaining positive, but this can be difficult to do when the most common emotions around this transition are fear, grief, and anger. Here are three self care tips to make the divorce process easier. 1) Go to Counseling People going through a divorce should consider … [Read more...] about 3 Tips for Self-Care During Divorce
Cryptocurrency, Divorce and Fiduciary Duty
Many people hear the term “fiduciary duty” and think it only applies to business relationships. In fact, divorcing spouses owe a fiduciary duty to each other. This means they must deal with each other fairly in the division of their assets, even when the assets include cryptocurrency. The Meaning of “Fiduciary Duty” in a Divorce The law imposes a strict fiduciary responsibility … [Read more...] about Cryptocurrency, Divorce and Fiduciary Duty
Managing Mental Health During Divorce
Research has shown that out of 49 life events, divorce is the second most stressful experience of a person’s life. The only thing more stressful is the death of a spouse. Getting the right support while in the divorce process is crucial to a person’s mental health and the ability to make good decisions. Help from a Licensed Mental Health Professional Going through the divorce … [Read more...] about Managing Mental Health During Divorce
Six Common Parenting Mistakes in Divorce
Divorce brings up all sorts of difficult and emotional issues. Parents who are going through a divorce need to be sure that they are guiding their children through the divorce in a way that is appropriate to their age. Here are six mistakes that parents often make during a divorce. 1. Not Giving Children a Blame-Free Narrative Children are very self-oriented, especially at … [Read more...] about Six Common Parenting Mistakes in Divorce
5 Things To Know About Collaborative Divorce In California
Not all divorces need to be long, drawn-out litigious experiences, with both parties fighting it out in court over assets and time with the children. Rather, more and more spouses are turning to collaborative divorce as a way to come to agreements on everything from property division to child custody. In the most basic of terms, with collaborative divorce, each spouse retains his … [Read more...] about 5 Things To Know About Collaborative Divorce In California
Privacy and Confidentiality in Divorce
Divorce is a painful process. Even if you and your partner agree with getting divorced, there are going to be some uncomfortable issues that arise. You and your soon-to-be ex-partner need to discuss important issues, such as child custody, child support and how to divide up your property. The process becomes much more difficult knowing that you will have to share these intimate … [Read more...] about Privacy and Confidentiality in Divorce
It Takes a Village to Get Through a Divorce
“It takes a village to raise a child” is an African proverb that means that an entire community of people must interact with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment. We have many villages throughout our lives. There is our village through school—including parents, teachers, and friends; a village through our career—mentors, networking groups, … [Read more...] about It Takes a Village to Get Through a Divorce
How To Ask For a Divorce Peacefully
The decision to divorce is a life-changing one and should not be entered into blithely. After you decide, take time to prepare how you will tell your spouse, which includes what you are going to say, when, and where. Meeting with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist to discuss, plan, and rehearse the particulars can help you feel prepared. Consulting with family lawyers, … [Read more...] about How To Ask For a Divorce Peacefully
Divorce, Kids and Co-Parenting
A major question when parents’ divorce is how to best provide for theinterests of their children. A parenting plan answers that question and gives parents a structure to work with as they learn the co-parenting skills that will reduce conflict between them and provide their children the stability they need. What is a Co-Parenting Plan? A co-parenting plan is a written document that … [Read more...] about Divorce, Kids and Co-Parenting
The Many Losses of a Divorce
Divorce is filled with many losses: the loss of the life you knew, the future you imagined, and the stability you thought you had had. With a divorce you are exorcizing the old and harvesting the new. The question is, how can you healthfully manage the losses of the divorce and create a hopeful future? A Collaborative Divorce can give you the tools and support you need … [Read more...] about The Many Losses of a Divorce
13 Tips for Talking with Your Children About Your Separation and Divorce
The following tips will help you prepare to talk with your children about your separation and divorce. You care about doing the best you can for your children because you are reading this article. Give yourself permission not to be perfect. No one is. This is a stressful time for all of you. Remember to keep taking slow, deep breaths --- you and your children will get … [Read more...] about 13 Tips for Talking with Your Children About Your Separation and Divorce
Dealing with Hidden Assets in a Collaborative Divorce
People choose Collaborative Divorce over traditional litigation when they want the divorce to be more amicable. The hallmark of a Collaborative Divorce is honesty. Both spouses are expected to provide full disclosure about all assets, both those known to be community property and those that they claim are separate property. In rare cases during the collaborative process, one party … [Read more...] about Dealing with Hidden Assets in a Collaborative Divorce
Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting
Co-Parenting—What does that mean? How can I co-parent with someone who has betrayed me? How do you co-parent after a divorce when we couldn’t parent well while we were married? I don’t even want to parent with him/her anymore! You’re getting divorced and your biggest worry is about your children. Chances are this is the one thing you and your spouse agree on. Here is what we … [Read more...] about Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting
Privacy and Confidentiality in a Divorce
Maintaining privacy during a divorce is critical for the well-being of everyone involved, but the intensity of emotions sometimes makes that difficult. The process goes smoother when both parties respect each other’s privacy. Here are a few tips on maintaining privacy in a divorce. Maintain Privacy for Your Spouse Both spouses should refrain from speaking negatively and breaching … [Read more...] about Privacy and Confidentiality in a Divorce
I WANT A DIVORCE – MY SPOUSE DOESN’T
“We are in a tricky spot because I want a divorce and my husband does not.” [We do not mean this is a gender specific concern. We have heard it from both husbands and wives. This is just an actual recent example of the situation]. As you can imagine, wife’s concern not an unusual circumstance. We often get some version of this comment from spouses seeking a consultation. … [Read more...] about I WANT A DIVORCE – MY SPOUSE DOESN’T
Emotions in Divorce
There is no getting around the fact that divorce is a highly emotional process that people respond to in a variety of ways. Some adapt to the stress and changes in their life by taking care of themselves the best they can. Others look for ways to escape the emotional pain and anger through addictions like drugs, food, or work. Slow Down, Observe Your Emotions Couples do not need … [Read more...] about Emotions in Divorce
Divorce: Private or Public?
Divorce can be difficult no matter the circumstances. What you may not know is how much of your personal matter and financial information becomes public, available to any and everyone who can get to the courthouse or use a computer. This includes your children, co-workers, and friends. Many times, it can be difficult to know what can stay private and what will be made … [Read more...] about Divorce: Private or Public?
Divorce: How Much Will It Cost?
One of the first questions clients ask is, “How much is this divorce going to cost?” There is no easy answer to that question. Each divorce is different. Each family has different needs and topics to discuss, making it almost impossible to accurately give an estimate of costs. However, a divorce where the couple can come to their own settlement agreement (without a lot of … [Read more...] about Divorce: How Much Will It Cost?
Options for Understanding the Finances When Getting Divorced
In the last twelve months, with the pandemic impacting many families’ financial bottom line, I have had more people concerned about the financial impact of a divorce or separation. The financial strain of job loss or impact illnesses has had on families is evident. The pandemic has created financial chaos for many people. Families that have been used to having their finances run … [Read more...] about Options for Understanding the Finances When Getting Divorced
Creating a Successful Parenting Plan
A comprehensive co-parenting is best gift you can give your children! Admittedly putting together a solid, child-centered plan can be daunting. Because the best interest of your children will be at the forefront of every decision, the best results will come from working closely with your co-parent on the details. Your plan can be as specific or general as is practical … [Read more...] about Creating a Successful Parenting Plan
Why Get a Prenup?
Prenuptial or Pre-Marital agreements often carry with them negative connotations because people who are about to get married don’t want to start off by thinking, “What if we get divorced?” However, Prenuptial agreements actually involve important conversations that couples should have before getting married. Further, they will be effective upon death or divorce, so they carry with … [Read more...] about Why Get a Prenup?
VACCINES – THE NEXT PARENTING CHALLENGE
There is new co- parenting issue looming during Corona Virus Pandemic. Do parents agree when and if they vaccinate themselves [parents] and vaccinate the children? The pandemic has already presented some very challenging parenting decisions for families parenting in two households. Parents have had to navigate: The ‘lock downs’,Juggling work and home through school openings and … [Read more...] about VACCINES – THE NEXT PARENTING CHALLENGE
San Francisco Chronicle Mentions Collaborative Divorce in Bill Eddy OP-ED
Family courts are long-overdue at making non-adversarial divorce methods--like collaborative divorce--mandatory for most families before they use the court system (except for emergencies such as domestic violence restraining orders). I recently wrote an Op-Ed piece on this subject for the San Francisco Chronicle, the 13th largest newspaper in the United States. It was published in … [Read more...] about San Francisco Chronicle Mentions Collaborative Divorce in Bill Eddy OP-ED
Tips for Telling Your Kids that You Are Getting a Divorce
In Collaborative Divorce, we have the benefit of using a professional team. The team includes mental health professionals and child specialists who provide expertise regarding talking to children about divorce. The mental health professionals serve as divorce coaches for the parties going through the divorce, while the child specialist is a mental health professional specifically … [Read more...] about Tips for Telling Your Kids that You Are Getting a Divorce
Divorce: How Do I Tell My Kids?
January is Child Centered Divorce Awareness Month, so it is the ideal time to discuss how to tell your kids that you are getting a divorce. This is always a difficult thing to do but we have some recommendations to help you through this. Both Parents Should Meet Together with the Children Unless there are issues of domestic violence or child abuse, both parents should meet together … [Read more...] about Divorce: How Do I Tell My Kids?
How is Child Support Calculated in California?
Here is an overview of the default child support laws in the State of California. Every state has different support laws, and the following overview is specific to the laws of California. Parties can agree to whatever child support amount and calculation they would like – but in the event parties cannot agree otherwise, below is the default child support … [Read more...] about How is Child Support Calculated in California?
January 2021 is the 14th Anniversary of January as the International Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month
Children are like wet cement. Everything that falls on them leaves an impression. ~ Dr. Haim Ginott, World Acclaimed Child Psychologist Historically, more divorce filings occur in January than in any other month, with a New Year’s resolution to “start a new life,” which is why January is the International Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month. It is a month dedicated to … [Read more...] about January 2021 is the 14th Anniversary of January as the International Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month
How To Survive Your Divorce
Most people do not get married with the expectation that they will someday get divorced. A marriage contains emotional, financial, legal, physical, familial parts and for some also a religious or spiritual aspect. All these elements change in a divorce and it can be an overwhelming process. One of the best options for managing the divorce is to use the Collaborative Divorce process. In a … [Read more...] about How To Survive Your Divorce
Navigating Financial Issues in a Gray Divorce
A gray divorce is a euphemism for people getting divorced who are over the age of 50. The issues that need to be resolved are different in a gray divorce than in divorces between younger couples. Since there are generally no minor children, the main issue the couple faces is division of assets. Too often, one party may try to hide assets from the other. Financial Issues Facing Those … [Read more...] about Navigating Financial Issues in a Gray Divorce
Divorce: Keeping it Private
There are many benefits to a Collaborative Divorce particularly when compared to the traditional litigated divorce. Privacy and confidentially are examples of how collaboration is in the best interest of the couple and of their children. What is Public Information in a Traditional Divorce Case? Disclosure of income. In a litigated divorce, documents regarding your financial … [Read more...] about Divorce: Keeping it Private
Marital Waste: When Spending is More Than Just a Shopping Spree
If your marriage is ending and you’re splitting on bad terms, you may be worried that your ex will become spiteful or resentful and act on these actions. This isn’t uncommon in bitter contested divorce; but what is a problem, is if that resentment results in anger-driven decisions to hurt you, specifically in a financial way. Consider for a moment your bank accounts and the fact that … [Read more...] about Marital Waste: When Spending is More Than Just a Shopping Spree
Fact or Fiction?: 10-year Marriage Guarantees Alimony (spousal support in California) for life
Marital happiness lasts for approximately seven years before the average spouse begins to get restless and stray from their vows of faithfulness – or so says the theory of “The 7-Year Itch.” It probably isn’t a good idea to put significant stock in a theory popularized by a movie starring Marilyn Monroe, but the concept is not complete fiction. The underlying truth of this theory is that … [Read more...] about Fact or Fiction?: 10-year Marriage Guarantees Alimony (spousal support in California) for life
5 Tips for Communicating During a Divorce
At this point you’ve seen all the quotes about healthy communication being the cornerstone of any long-lasting relationship. If you’re reading this, chances are you and your soon to be ex haven’t been communicating well for quite some time now. In today’s blog entry, I’m sharing some handy communication skills that will help improve the communication between you and your spouse even … [Read more...] about 5 Tips for Communicating During a Divorce
How is Child Support and Spousal Support Determined in California?
The good news is that a Collaborative Divorce allows you to be creative in determining what financial arrangements would work for your family, including child support and spousal support. But if you are interested in learning about the default child support and spousal support laws in the State of California, this article will give you an overview. Child … [Read more...] about How is Child Support and Spousal Support Determined in California?
Divorce: Fear and Change
Filing for divorce is a stressful time. You are putting everything on the line to separate from someone and start a new life. The mere thought of change can paralyze even the bravest among us. Change represents a loss of something familiar and an introduction to something new. You may find yourself fearful of the uncertainty in moving ahead. You are not immune from … [Read more...] about Divorce: Fear and Change
Communicating with Your Spouse During the Divorce Process
Couples going through a divorce generally already have a problem communicating. Those problems often get worse during this time with the upheaval of their lives and the change in the family structure. It is common to find that a couple’s main mode of communication with one another results in one of them getting angry and the other one giving their partner the silent treatment. This … [Read more...] about Communicating with Your Spouse During the Divorce Process
What Is Effective Communication During a Divorce?
Listening deeply and without judgment helps you understand the emotions and intentions behind the spoken words so that the person speaking feels heard and understood. Listening without judgment is NOT waiting for your turn to talk or rebuttal what your partner is saying. There is a story about a world leader who attended Harvard’s world-renowned Program on Negotiation. His cohort … [Read more...] about What Is Effective Communication During a Divorce?
Benefits of Using the Collaborative Divorce Process
Collaborative Divorce is a process that puts you in charge of your divorce. In the traditional adversarial divorce process, the judge makes the final decisions. In a Collaborative case, you and your spouse make the decisions that are best suited for you and your family. Through Collaborative, we form a team of professionals who are trained in their specific area to help support … [Read more...] about Benefits of Using the Collaborative Divorce Process
What is Divorce Coaching and How it Helps in a Collaborative Divorce Case
Divorce Coaching is not Therapy Divorce Coaches are licensed therapists; however, coaching is not therapy. Coaches do not go into the childhood history of each client nor do they make diagnoses or prescribe treatment plans. In fact, divorce coaches do not actually treat any kind of mental illness. However, tools are provided to help clients cope with difficult feelings, such … [Read more...] about What is Divorce Coaching and How it Helps in a Collaborative Divorce Case
A Child Custody Order or a Mutually Created Co-parenting Plan: Which Is Best
During a divorce, many parents fight about what courts call “child custody.” If you ask the average person, who isn’t going through or hasn’t gone through a divorce, to define the word “custody,” the first definition is usually something like “where people go when they are suspects of a crime or convicted of a crime, like in jail or prison.” Why is a word with this most common meaning associated … [Read more...] about A Child Custody Order or a Mutually Created Co-parenting Plan: Which Is Best
The Divorce Coach: Collaborative Divorce’s Secret Weapon in the Time of COVID-19 and Beyond
Anxiety and divorce, it’s even worse in the time of COVID-19. Anxiety is one of the most common feelings in divorce. There are so many unknowns. Where will I live? Will I have enough money? Will the kids be ok? Will I be alone forever? How will I parent alone? Am I still lovable? Am I losing my mind? I can’t function at work? How will … [Read more...] about The Divorce Coach: Collaborative Divorce’s Secret Weapon in the Time of COVID-19 and Beyond
How Does Fear Impact a Divorce?
Most people getting a divorce have never been through the divorce process. Naturally, there is a fear of the unknown because it is difficult to know what to expect. As the client, you are in uncharted waters and unfamiliar territory. It is difficult to know what your life post-divorce is going to look like. Fear should be managed because it impacts decision … [Read more...] about How Does Fear Impact a Divorce?
Understanding How Divorce Impacts Children
There is no way to keep your divorce from having an impact on your children. All research shows that divorce is hard for them. However, the level of conflict they experience during and after the divorce period is the greatest indicator of the immediate impact on them and to their later successes in life. This includes their future socialization, their future achievements in … [Read more...] about Understanding How Divorce Impacts Children
Can You Get A Collaborative Divorce During the Coronavirus Crisis?
The phrase “in these difficult times” has become a cliché in the months since the Coronavirus or Covid-19 virus changed the world. So much has been put on hold – even the courts have been closed — you may have assumed you won’t be able to start divorce proceedings. Even after the courts re-open, you may prefer to continue social distancing as much as you can until there is a vaccine or … [Read more...] about Can You Get A Collaborative Divorce During the Coronavirus Crisis?
Co-Parenting After Divorce
Divorce is not easy for anyone. If a divorce is necessary, Collaborative Divorce is probably best for all involved, particularly when there are children. You want to make this as easy of a transition for your child as possible. The Collaborative Divorce process is always designed to keep the best interests of the child in mind. A key benefit is that the process supports … [Read more...] about Co-Parenting After Divorce
Using Collaborative Divorce in a High Conflict Divorce Case
Can A Divorce Case Be Collaborative with A High Conflict Personality? The answer to that question is, “Yes,” but first, before we talk more about that “Yes,” we should talk about what a High Conflict Personality is. The High Conflict Personality (HCP) is a term that was first defined by Bill Eddy, founder if the High Conflict institute. A high conflict personality is someone that … [Read more...] about Using Collaborative Divorce in a High Conflict Divorce Case
How Do I Tell My Partner I Want a Divorce?
How you first discuss the issue can set the stage for how the divorce will proceed. Be clear about your goals and what discussion you want to have. Is it: I am feeling that things are so bad;we need to talk about a divorce if we can’t fix it. (possible outcomes include therapy, change, continued conflict, divorce).I want to talk about a divorce (put the possibility on the table, how do … [Read more...] about How Do I Tell My Partner I Want a Divorce?
Does COVID-19 Pandemic Cause Divorce?
The pandemic of COVID-19 has swept us up and dramatically changed the way we live in just a matter of weeks. Our existence has become restricted, regulated, and different than we’ve ever known. We have all become isolated in our own homes. The freedom to come and go as we wish has been greatly altered. We cannot go to restaurants, to our offices and work … [Read more...] about Does COVID-19 Pandemic Cause Divorce?
Co-parenting during the Pandemic Brings Danger and Opportunity
Separation and divorce are crises for families. The COVID-19 pandemic adds another layer of crisis on co-parents and their children, who are already stressed. The virus is endangering lives world-wide. In record numbers, people are losing their jobs, their income, and their familial and social connections. Those who still have their jobs are balancing working virtually from … [Read more...] about Co-parenting during the Pandemic Brings Danger and Opportunity
Helping Children Weather This Pandemic
During this time of social isolation and anxiety, children experiencing their parent’s divorce have an added level of stress. Collaborative Coach JoAnn Rodrigues, LMFT, along with colleagues John Osborne, LCSW and Chandler Hoffman, PhD., want to share some insight and suggestions to parents that can help their children manage emotionally. Please note that the following information does … [Read more...] about Helping Children Weather This Pandemic
Tips for Separating or Divorcing During the COVID-19 Pandemic
These are such uncertain and challenging times for so many of us, especially those of you who are trying to work and parent your children from home without childcare. For those of you who were considering a separation or divorce before the pandemic, the stress associated with sheltering at home may have pushed you over the edge. Thankfully, you do have options. Below are some … [Read more...] about Tips for Separating or Divorcing During the COVID-19 Pandemic
Co-Parenting in California during the COVID-19 Pandemic: Challenges and Opportunities
California co-parents and their children are living in unfamiliar territory, that can cause unprecedented stress for all family members. Parents working from home are feeling unprepared for their virtual work life, while trying to manage their non-school age children and assist their older children with online school instruction and homework. For some shelter-at-home orders are interfering … [Read more...] about Co-Parenting in California during the COVID-19 Pandemic: Challenges and Opportunities
What is the Real Cost of Divorce?
Facing a divorce isn’t easy, and you probably have a lot of different concerns. One of those concerns is certainly the cost of getting a divorce. And with good reason — Business Insider reports that the average divorce in the United States today costs a whopping $15,000. That said, there are a lot of different factors at play, and your own divorce could end up costing well under the … [Read more...] about What is the Real Cost of Divorce?
Can A Divorce Be Confidential?
Many people wrongly assume that their divorce is confidential. Did you know that all documents filed with the court are part of the public record? Clients are often surprised to learn that everything housed in the court’s records is accessible to anyone. This means anyone can go to the courthouse, pull your file, and photocopy or photograph any of the court documents. What … [Read more...] about Can A Divorce Be Confidential?
Caught by the Coronavirus Crisis During Your Divorce?
How to manage COVID-19 stress on top of divorce stress Perhaps you have decided to divorce or are in the initial stages of separation. Or perhaps you have already separated, and you and your ex are sharing time with your children. Suddenly, you are blindsided by the pandemic. On top of all the stress of the divorce, now we have the stress of the quarantine. What should … [Read more...] about Caught by the Coronavirus Crisis During Your Divorce?
Recording Devices and Divorce: Why you might want to put down the phone
You may want to think twice before you use a smart phone as a recording device during a divorce. In today’s world we are surrounded by smart phones and tablets with advanced recording capabilities. This makes it easier than ever to record conversations without anyone noticing. But you might want to think twice before you hit record, because in California recording another party … [Read more...] about Recording Devices and Divorce: Why you might want to put down the phone
What Do You Need to Know About Divorce, Money and Taxes?
When people divorce, how to deal with money and taxes can be two of the most contentious topics of discussion. One of the advantages of the Collaborative Divorce process is the opportunity to work with a neutral financial professional who helps spouses look at the financial big picture as they work to reach agreement. Couples want to know how to allocate the family finances in a way that … [Read more...] about What Do You Need to Know About Divorce, Money and Taxes?
How Israel Substantially Reduced Litigation In Family Court
How has Israel, a place of ancient cultures and religions, reduced its divorce litigation by approximately 50% in just a couple of years? When Israel was founded in 1948, divorce was the exclusive domain of religious courts for couples of Jewish, Christian, and Muslim faiths. As religious divorce generally depends upon the husband “liberating the wife”, if a wife refuses to accept … [Read more...] about How Israel Substantially Reduced Litigation In Family Court
What Is A Child Centered Divorce?
A child is without question the most valuable and precious thing that can result from marriage. A child is far more important than any tangible possession. Yet, divorce can be messy, heart wrenching, and emotional, and a child is sometimes treated as an afterthought of the situation. All too often, parents choose to get a divorce, battle through legal ties and financial dissection, and … [Read more...] about What Is A Child Centered Divorce?
Children, Divorce and Money
In a traditional divorce, parents are often battling between themselves about how to take care of the children, both financially and emotionally, when the family is no longer living together in one household. One of our goals with our clients is to assist them with a post-divorce budget that is related to the children in ways that decreases the contention in a divorce and puts the focus on … [Read more...] about Children, Divorce and Money
Is January the Most Common Month for Couples to Split Up?
According to an article in the New York Times from January 4, 2020, many lawyers see in increase in divorce filings in January after the holidays. Filing for divorce in a new year may be one of those New Year’s resolutions. “That will be the last time I suffer through another New Year’s Eve with [fill in the blank]!” According to the article, people “tend to face the holidays with … [Read more...] about Is January the Most Common Month for Couples to Split Up?
Children the Wealth of Family
Often married adults include as one of their New Year’s resolutions that they are going to “start a new life” by filing for divorce. For this reason, there is an increase in divorce filings in January. This is why January is National Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month. When parents file for divorce, how does it affect their children? It depends. For decades, the … [Read more...] about Children the Wealth of Family
Child-Centered Divorce: How to Focus On the Children’s Needs
Divorce is never easy on anyone but can be especially difficult for children involved. To allow the process and transition to be as smooth as possible for children, using the framework of a Child-Centered Divorce can provide the best results. In a Child-Center Divorce, the divorce process is focused on the best situation and circumstances for the couple’s children while leaving the … [Read more...] about Child-Centered Divorce: How to Focus On the Children’s Needs
Children and Divorce
The research is crystal clear — children of divorce fare much better when parents are able to protect them from the adults’ conflict. They do this by making a conscious choice to prioritize their children’s interests, control their urge to fight, and work as a team. This does not mean that you give in to the other parent on everything to avoid a fight or give up your rights. But it … [Read more...] about Children and Divorce
Dealing with Debt during Divorce
Dividing property incident to divorce is not just putting your assets into one pile for each spouse. You also must divide the debt that the community has accumulated during the course of your marriage. In California, community property includes all assets and liabilities incurred from the date you married until the date you separated other than separate property that was given … [Read more...] about Dealing with Debt during Divorce
Avoid the divorce in “Marriage Story” with a Collaborative Divorce
Marriage Story is an Academy Award nominated movie produced by Netflix about the marriage and divorce of a young couple. Scarlett Johansson plays Nicole and Adam Driver plays Charlie, the parents of Henry, who are navigating the difficult waters of the end of their marriage. The movie is a remarkable and compassionate representation of a couple who still has love for each other but … [Read more...] about Avoid the divorce in “Marriage Story” with a Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative Divorce or Mediation: Which is Best for My Divorce?
For you, the decision to divorce differently may be a wise one. You may have heard horror stories about your friend or family member’s divorce. That there was a battle lasting for years; that they came out of it with relationships damaged and worse than when they started; that it was rough on the kids. That untold sums of money were spent fighting. You may have decided that … [Read more...] about Collaborative Divorce or Mediation: Which is Best for My Divorce?
Top 5 ways Collaborative Divorce can save on Divorce Costs
Divorce is costly, in more ways than just money. Generally speaking, the higher the conflict and the more broken the communication and trust, the more expensive your divorce will be. But, with a little planning there are ways you can reduce the overall “cost” of your divorce. There are 5 main cost factors in a divorce: Family and relationships: the impact on your children, extended family … [Read more...] about Top 5 ways Collaborative Divorce can save on Divorce Costs
Are You Afraid To Get a Divorce?
You’re not alone. After hearing all the legendary horror stories, you know you don’t want one of your own. You wonder: Will the divorce hurt my children?Will I be wiped out financially?Will I be able to have a decent home?Will I ever be able to retire?Will I be able to handle the anger, grief, and uncertainty?Will it be an ugly, expensive battle? Well, there is no magic wand, but … [Read more...] about Are You Afraid To Get a Divorce?
What are 3 Collaborative Divorce Myths?
Making the life changing decision to divorce is often overwhelming. There are many things to consider, such as how the children will be affected and how you will restructure your family moving forward. Making the decision on how to accomplish your divorce can be as important as the decision to divorce itself. Collaborative divorce can help couples move more quickly through the divorce … [Read more...] about What are 3 Collaborative Divorce Myths?
Will I Lose My Health Insurance When I’m Divorced in California?
Can I keep my current spouses’ insurance, what is this going to cost me and can I be denied? Weekly I receive emails from clients across CA regarding options for Health Insurance. Fortunately, with the ACA – The Affordable Care Act under the Obama Administration, everyone Qualifies for coverage regardless of their previous or current health condition. Prior to this Act, 85% of … [Read more...] about Will I Lose My Health Insurance When I’m Divorced in California?
How Much Does a Divorce Cost in California?
It depends. Annoying answer but true! In California, family law attorneys and mediators bill clients hourly rates ranging from $300 - $800 per hour, depending on the professional’s years of experience, location and reputation in the community. In my opinion, the cost of a divorce will vary depending on the following variables: The process option chosen;The professionals … [Read more...] about How Much Does a Divorce Cost in California?
How Do I Get a Divorce in California?
Here is a summary overview of the divorce process in California. There are certain things that have to be done in every single divorce case, no matter how amicable or how contentious you and your spouse are: File the divorce Petition. The divorce Petition is filed in the county where one of you has lived for at least the last 3 months.“Serve” a copy of the Petition on the other spouse … [Read more...] about How Do I Get a Divorce in California?
You Have Chosen to Divorce: Are Your Adult Children Too Old to Hurt?
The effect of divorce on minor children has been a hot topic for decades. But divorce can also significantly impact adult children whose parents are divorcing. These adult children report many of the same feelings and experiences. “My friends at college say I should be glad they didn’t divorce when I was younger because that would have been a lot worse. It’s like they expect me … [Read more...] about You Have Chosen to Divorce: Are Your Adult Children Too Old to Hurt?
Addiction and Divorce – Part 2
You have decided to divorce. How to do it? Go to a Divorce Options® class and find out how it all works. You can get a good sense of which process to use by attending this class where all of the options are reviewed. In SF and other counties, it’s inexpensive, and in some counties it’s free. Get support from family and friends for yourself and your children, and … [Read more...] about Addiction and Divorce – Part 2
Addiction and Divorce – Part 1
Considering divorce with an addicted partner? According to National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Approx. 16 million Americans have Alcohol Use Disorder. Adding drugs and behavioral addictions to this number, it is not surprising that a lot of divorces include concerns about one or both parties’ substance use. Is this really addiction? Do I have the right to say … [Read more...] about Addiction and Divorce – Part 1
The Advantage of Child Support Calculation Through the Collaborative Divorce Process
Recently, I read an article on the internet titled “How Much Is Child Support In Your State?" taken from the website CustodyXChange.com”. Did you know that every state in the USA has its own law and mathematical formula as to how to calculate child support in its family law courts and that the use of the statewide child support calculator is mandatory if the parents go to court and have a … [Read more...] about The Advantage of Child Support Calculation Through the Collaborative Divorce Process
Why I Prefer to Assist Couples Peacefully Through Divorce
As a family law attorney, what sets me apart from other lawyers? Well, I like to think that it is my compassion, kindness, and the fact that I really care about my clients. I want to help each person transform their life and finish their divorce stronger than when they began. So many couples don’t know that they have a choice, and that they don’t have to slug it out in … [Read more...] about Why I Prefer to Assist Couples Peacefully Through Divorce
Seven Reasons to do a Collaborative Divorce
You have made the life-changing decision to divorce your spouse. Your next decision may impact your life going forward almost as much: “How will I get divorced?” You have three process choices: litigation, mediation and collaborative divorce. Here are my seven best reasons to choose a collaborative divorce. 1. Collaborative divorce keeps you out of court. The distinctive … [Read more...] about Seven Reasons to do a Collaborative Divorce
The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce for Small Business Owners
Divorcing spouses who own a business have an option for a goal-oriented, amicable process: Collaborative Divorce. This process promotes cooperation and partnership instead of a public and potentially destructive litigation procedure. It provides solutions for the couple and the business that aren’t available if the courts become involved. Collaborative Divorce Is a Shared … [Read more...] about The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce for Small Business Owners
Three Ways Collaborative Divorce Can Save You Time and Money
If you’re reading this blog, you have a lot on your mind. You’re considering divorce. You want a lawyer to help you through, but you also hope to save time and money. You may think you don’t have that option but consider collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorce is a no-court divorce option where collaboratively trained lawyers and other professionals help you and … [Read more...] about Three Ways Collaborative Divorce Can Save You Time and Money
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Clients in Divorce
Stephen Covey’s seminal book on productivity and personal transformation, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, has a lot to teach us in how to be effective at moving through divorce. Here is an introduction: Habit 1 – Be Proactive. Take responsibility for your own experience. Do not place responsibility for your experience in the hands of your spouse or the attorneys (or, … [Read more...] about The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Clients in Divorce
Financial Disclosures during my Divorce, really? Do I have to?
Yes, no matter what process you choose for your divorce, the California Courts require full financial disclosure of all income, assets, and expenses. Honestly, I think this is an important requirement even though it can be difficult and cumbersome. In mediation or collaboration where both parties are working together the financial disclosure process can be less complicated because there … [Read more...] about Financial Disclosures during my Divorce, really? Do I have to?
How to Choose a Divorce Lawyer
Divorce lawyers have a saying that they help good people on their worst day. To get you through your worst day you need legal support from someone you trust. You also need to be sure you choose the right process. If an attorney is not trained in collaborative divorce, then you have already ruled out one positive path for completing your divorce just by selecting that untrained … [Read more...] about How to Choose a Divorce Lawyer
It’s the Season for a (Collaborative) Divorce
According to Research from the University of Washington, the number of divorce filings in a number of states consistently peaks in the months of August and March. What’s behind the monthly up-tick? Several factors could be at play. Spouses may decide to file for divorce in August, following the family vacation and before the kids start school. But what explains the spike in … [Read more...] about It’s the Season for a (Collaborative) Divorce
What will my Divorce cost?
One of the most common questions I get asked is, “What will the divorce cost?” I believe that it is one of the most important discussions everyone should have with their attorney and spouse. Getting educated on what type of budget needs to be established for the family that is going through a divorce must be completed. The budget will be driven by what process you and your spouse … [Read more...] about What will my Divorce cost?
Self-Help is Not the Best Remedy When it Comes to Divorce
Couples divorcing are representing themselves or relying on information from the internet or a self-help center to guide them. Having practiced family law in Northern and Southern California counties for 38 years, I’ve watched the practice of family law evolve. It used to be that most couples seeking divorce or legal separation had lawyers to represent each spouse, or at least one … [Read more...] about Self-Help is Not the Best Remedy When it Comes to Divorce
Embracing the Professionalism of Collaborative Divorce Lawyers
There is a discouraging lack of civility and professionalism among litigation attorneys which has tarnished the legal community for the past 30 years as set forth in a recent California Court of Appeal decision. The case of Lasalle v. Vogel, G055381 (2019) is a legal malpractice action, wherein the Court of Appeal noted thirty years ago, in 1989, that attorneys are ‘officers of the court’ … [Read more...] about Embracing the Professionalism of Collaborative Divorce Lawyers
Alphabet Soup of Getting Professional Help with Your Divorce Finances
Getting good financial advice as part of your divorce process can be one of the most important decisions you make. During this highly emotional time you are making some of the most important financial decisions of your life. High emotions and important financial decisions, a good match??? Not usually. So who do I trust? It depends, but a simple answer is a professional trained in … [Read more...] about Alphabet Soup of Getting Professional Help with Your Divorce Finances
Gray Divorce: Over 50 and Getting a Divorce, Now What?
If you’re over 50 and getting a divorce, you are not alone. The “Gray Divorce” phenomena refers to the increasing number of people who divorce later in life. Twenty years ago, 10% of divorces involved people over 50. Today, that number is up to 25% per Dr. Susan Brown, Bowling Green State University sociology professor and co-author of The Gray Divorce Revolution. There’s less … [Read more...] about Gray Divorce: Over 50 and Getting a Divorce, Now What?
6 Factors to Consider When Deciding Which Process is Right for You
There is no bright line test when choosing between Divorce Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. However, examining the following six factors will be helpful in making a good decision: 1. How important to you is having a “good divorce?” The primary difference between Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce is the level of support you will get while negotiating. Collaborative … [Read more...] about 6 Factors to Consider When Deciding Which Process is Right for You
The Benefits of a Collaborative Approach in Division of Assets and Debts
Collaborative Practice utilizes a team approach to the divorce process. As a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), I want to share with you how I see tremendous value in a team approach to asset division. The typical litigation model using a divorce attorney includes a listing of your assets and a “reasonably fair” division worked out by the … [Read more...] about The Benefits of a Collaborative Approach in Division of Assets and Debts
Five Things you Need for an Amicable Divorce
Is an amicable divorce possible? If so, how is it done? Many want to have an amicable divorce but worry about how to talk about financial concerns, how to file for divorce and how to parent children without starting World War III. Couples are used to arguing about finances and often feel they get stuck in unproductive arguments and that they can’t communicate. Here are five … [Read more...] about Five Things you Need for an Amicable Divorce
Must We Say We Did Not Love? Honor the relationship that ended through a new story and rituals.
What is the story of your marriage and divorce? When speaking with your friends or family, what is the story you tell of your relationship? Are you talking mainly about the arguments or misdeeds, betrayals, disappointments, and losses? Do you focus on the negative experiences and overlook or even deny the positive experiences? Is it possible that you are defending yourself from … [Read more...] about Must We Say We Did Not Love? Honor the relationship that ended through a new story and rituals.
The Role of the Financial Professional in A Collaborative Divorce
The financial professional in a collaborative divorce plays a critical role. There are two financial professional roles and they are distinct, the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, CDFA® and the Divorce Forensic CPA. This blog will address the role of the CDFA®. A future blog will talk about the role of the Divorce Forensic CPA. The Certified Divorce Financial Analyst … [Read more...] about The Role of the Financial Professional in A Collaborative Divorce
How Can A Divorce Coach Help In Your Collaborative Divorce?
Collaborative Divorce: Here’s how a Divorce Coach can help: Dealing with a divorce is often more distressing than people realize, and, there is a process to meet your needs, and the needs of your family; Collaborative Divorce offers clients wrap around services for all phases and stages of the divorce process. With Collaborative Divorce, not only does each spouse have an attorney, each … [Read more...] about How Can A Divorce Coach Help In Your Collaborative Divorce?
The Emotions of an LGBTQ Divorce
How can I be getting divorced after working so hard for marriage equity? You worked for and celebrated joyfully when marriage became legal. It was so emotional. You finally married your love. Now you’ve tried hard, but you are unable to happily stay together. Are you betraying the community? As a therapist, a mediator and a coach in collaborative divorce I have worked … [Read more...] about The Emotions of an LGBTQ Divorce
Financial Disclosures in Collaborative Divorce
What is Disclosure? If you get divorced in California you have to Disclose… period, end of story. What does that mean and is anything different in a Collaborative Divorce? “Disclosure” refers to financial disclosures. What do we have, own, owe and make. It’s an inventory of everything you own (assets), everything you owe (debts), and all of the income for both … [Read more...] about Financial Disclosures in Collaborative Divorce
5 Ways Divorce in California is Different for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Divorce is hard enough for every couple. Knowing what’s the same for gay and lesbian couples, and what is different is a key to a good resolution. The good news-- the answers are knowable, and as in most areas, knowledge is power and promotes positive outcomes for all involved. Collaborative Practice (CP) and other consensual resolution processes like mediation allow both spouses in … [Read more...] about 5 Ways Divorce in California is Different for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Avoiding Common Money Mistakes in Your Divorce
There are no easy do-overs in divorce. The courts do allow revisiting child support and spousal support in some situations, but wouldn’t it be better to do it right the first time? In most couples, one member is more familiar with the finances than the other. This is perfectly normal, but in divorce, both people need to understand the finances to properly divide and manage their money in the … [Read more...] about Avoiding Common Money Mistakes in Your Divorce
Will a Collaborative Divorce Work For Us?
You may be asking yourself whether you and your spouse are good candidates for a Collaborative Divorce. The following list of 7 attributes will help you determine whether you and your spouse are good candidates. The more you either one or both of you match these qualities, the better suitable you may be for a Collaborative Divorce. Ability to see the viewpoint of your spouse. … [Read more...] about Will a Collaborative Divorce Work For Us?
Is it Possible to Have a “Better Divorce?”
One of our Collaborative Divorce Marin County Professionals recently published an article in Psychology Today. A new approach can improve post-divorce life for the whole family. I want to tell you something important: I know what a bad divorce can be like for a child. My parents continued their warfare for 45 years, until Mom was no longer alive. My 95-year-old dad referred … [Read more...] about Is it Possible to Have a “Better Divorce?”
What are the Benefits? What are the Challenges? Thinking about divorce? Know your divorce options. Using the divorce mediation process option provides couples with tools to settle their differences rather than fighting in a court of law. Divorce mediation is facilitated by one or more neutral mediators who help define the issues, encourage out-of-the-box thinking, guide … [Read more...] about Divorce Mediation
Does Respect Have a Place in a Divorce?
The anger and other emotions that are usually a part of divorce make it pretty hard to be respectful—Can the Collaborative Divorce Process enable the parties to find some level of respect for each other? There are many metaphors people use to describe going through a divorce–one is the “leaver” and the other is the “leavee;” one is the windshield and the other is the bug; one is the bat … [Read more...] about Does Respect Have a Place in a Divorce?
How Does Divorce Impact Children?
If you ask any adult how their parents’ divorce affected them as children, you’ll get a sad story, even if it has been many years. It is difficult for children of all ages when their family changes. Occasionally, when the level of conflict has been high, the divorce can come as a relief. More often, though, divorce is experienced by children as extremely stressful, with lots of … [Read more...] about How Does Divorce Impact Children?
Unbundling Collaborative Divorce Myths
The Role of Myths in Assessing Readiness for Collaboration Myth #1: Because there is no Judge in the room to hold the client’s accountable, there is a myth that one client can take advantage of the other. Truth: Despite not having a Judge, there are multiple professionals in the room and the primary focus of all of them is accountability. Each party has their own team, including … [Read more...] about Unbundling Collaborative Divorce Myths
Divorce: Raises So Many Questions
Divorce is hard, and it is one of the most painful times in anyone’s life. Fear about the future will tend to put your dreams and plans on hold. -That fear though can be reduced if you take control of your divorce by learning more about your divorce options.- A Divorce Options® Workshop is one of the best ways to begin learning what you don’t know about divorce and to help you … [Read more...] about Divorce: Raises So Many Questions