• What is Collaborative Divorce?
    ▼
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Why Use Collaborative Divorce?
    • About Collaborative Divorce California
    • For Collaborative Professionals
  • Divorce Options® Workshops
    ▼
    • About Divorce Options® Workshops
    • Find a Divorce Options® Workshop
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs
  • Blog
  • Find a Professional
    ▼
    • All Professionals
    • Attorneys
    • Financial Professionals
    • Mental Health Professionals
    • Practice Groups
    • For Collaborative Professionals
  • Divorce With Respect Week
    ▼
    • For Professionals
    • For Clients
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Collaborative Divorce California

Options for Divorce in California

Collaborative Near Me
Podcast

  • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Why Use Collaborative Divorce?
    • About Collaborative Divorce California
    • For Collaborative Professionals
  • Divorce Options® Workshops
    • About Divorce Options® Workshops
    • Find a Divorce Options® Workshop
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs
  • Blog
  • Find a Professional
    • All Professionals
    • Attorneys
    • Financial Professionals
    • Mental Health Professionals
    • Practice Groups
    • For Collaborative Professionals
  • Divorce With Respect Week
    • For Professionals
    • For Clients

Avoid These Parenting Mistakes During a Divorce

October 4, 2022 By Lynette Kim

Children of all ages are stressed when their parents get a divorce.  It is even more stressful for minor children who feel their own future is uncertain.  They don’t know the impact the divorce will have on their own lives.  Parents often make mistakes, generally unwittingly, that can make the process more difficult.

6 Mistakes Parents Make During Divorce

Some of the most common mistakes parents make during divorce include:

Parenting Mistakes and Divorce
  1. Saying negative things about the other parent in front of the children.  When you are dismissive of your spouse in front of the children, it makes it easier for them to take sides and children shouldn’t be involved in disputes meant only for the separating couple.
  2. Trying to justify the divorce to the children by telling them what the other parent did to cause the separation.
  3. Crying frequently in front of the children.  This is very stressful for them and can make them feel helpless and even generate anger if you’re not in control of the situation.
  4. Children used as messengers for the other parent.  This is not a good idea even if the message seems neutral like scheduling pick-up times between the two parents.  Even if there was a small disagreement in what was relayed, the receiving parent could end up feeling discouraged or upset.
  5. Holding on to anger and not allowing the other parent to share important childhood school or social events.
  6. Not being honest with the children about what will happen next.  An example of this would be to tell the children they will not have to change schools if that decision has not yet been made.  Also don’t tell them where they will live if custody issues have not yet been resolved.  These are just two examples of many that could come up.

Collaborative Divorce Can Help Parents to Avoid These Mistakes

There are three types of divorce processes: Traditional Litigation, Mediation, and Collaborative Divorce.  In traditional litigation, the parents are involved in a negative legal battle where one ultimately wants to be the victor.  Unfortunately, in this type of divorce, it is difficult to get the parents to focus (and rightly so) on the children and to avoid mistakes.  That only creates additional stress.

With Mediation, or in a Collaborative Divorce, mental health or childcare professionals can be brought in to assist the parents in making a co-parenting plan, if necessary.  The professionals help the parents learn how to avoid mistakes and focus on what is in the best interests of the children.

Filed Under: Blog, Collaborative Divorce Tagged With: Divorce, During Divorce, Family Law, Mistakes, Parenting Mistakes

About Lynette Kim

Lynette Kim is a Los Angeles based Collaborative Attorney and Mediator. A child of divorce herself, Lynette understands the emotional and psychological impact divorce can have on children and is encouraged by her experience with helping families preserve relationships through non-adversarial means of ending a marriage. Her office is located at 3701 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 508, Los Angeles, CA 90010
213-351-1000.
Lynette’s Profile | Lynette’s Website

What our clients are saying…

Anonymous Client

I think this is probably true of a lot of marriages that end in divorce: neither one of us felt “heard.” The [collaborative] process was an eye-opener… and an “ear-opener” I guess you’d say.  We each got to say our piece.  And, I can’t speak for my ex, but I felt she “got” what I was talking about in a deep way.  To me, that was what made my divorce really a completion.  When we were done, we were DONE.  And now we’re okay parents together.  I’m not mad at her, she’s not mad at me.  I’m really grateful to [my coach], for showing me the way.

View Our Testimonials

Primary Sidebar

divorce Options Workshops

Divorce Options®

Workshops

Find a class
in your area

Meet Our Professionals

Tanya Prioste

Have you read?

Common Financial Fears in Divorce

Financial Fears in divorce

Going through a divorce is stressful in many ways.  One of the most common stressors in a … [Read More...]

Categories

  • Blog
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Divorce Options®
    • Mediation
  • Popups

Footer

Collaborative Divorce California

Find a Professional Near You

Admin Offices

2872 Ygnacio Valley Road
#401
Walnut Creek, CA 94598
(925) 338-9550

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

For Collaborative Professionals

A Service of CPCal

Copyright © 2023 Collaborative Divorce California · All Rights Reserved

· · ·

Website Design by The Crouch Group

Log in