• What is Collaborative Divorce?
    ▼
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Why Use Collaborative Divorce?
    • About Collaborative Divorce California
    • For Collaborative Professionals
  • Divorce Options® Workshops
    ▼
    • About Divorce Options® Workshops
    • Find a Divorce Options® Workshop
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs
  • Blog
  • Find a Professional
    ▼
    • All Professionals
    • Attorneys
    • Financial Professionals
    • Mental Health Professionals
    • Practice Groups
    • For Collaborative Professionals
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Select State

  • Alabama
  • Alaska
  • Arizona
  • Arkansas
  • California
  • Colorado
  • Connecticut
  • Delaware
  • Florida
  • Georgia
  • Hawaii
  • Idaho
  • Illinois
  • Indiana
  • Iowa
  • Kansas
  • Kentucky
  • Louisiana
  • Maine
  • Maryland
  • Massachusetts
  • Michigan
  • Minnesota
  • Mississippi
  • Missouri
  • Montana
  • Nebraska
  • Nevada
  • New Hampshire
  • New Jersey
  • New Mexico
  • New York
  • North Carolina
  • North Dakota
  • Ohio
  • Oklahoma
  • Oregon
  • Pennsylvania
  • Rhode Island
  • South Carolina
  • South Dakota
  • Tennessee
  • Texas
  • Utah
  • Vermont
  • Virginia
  • Washington
  • West Virginia
  • Wisconsin
  • Wyoming

Collaborative Divorce California

Options for Divorce in California

Collaborative Near Me

  • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • What is Collaborative Divorce?
    • Why Use Collaborative Divorce?
    • About Collaborative Divorce California
    • For Collaborative Professionals
  • Divorce Options® Workshops
    • About Divorce Options® Workshops
    • Find a Divorce Options® Workshop
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs
  • Blog
  • Find a Professional
    • All Professionals
    • Attorneys
    • Financial Professionals
    • Mental Health Professionals
    • Practice Groups
    • For Collaborative Professionals

Avoid These Parenting Mistakes During a Divorce

October 4, 2022 By Lynette Kim

Children of all ages are stressed when their parents get a divorce.  It is even more stressful for minor children who feel their own future is uncertain.  They don’t know the impact the divorce will have on their own lives.  Parents often make mistakes, generally unwittingly, that can make the process more difficult.

6 Mistakes Parents Make During Divorce

Some of the most common mistakes parents make during divorce include:

Parenting Mistakes and Divorce
  1. Saying negative things about the other parent in front of the children.  When you are dismissive of your spouse in front of the children, it makes it easier for them to take sides and children shouldn’t be involved in disputes meant only for the separating couple.
  2. Trying to justify the divorce to the children by telling them what the other parent did to cause the separation.
  3. Crying frequently in front of the children.  This is very stressful for them and can make them feel helpless and even generate anger if you’re not in control of the situation.
  4. Children used as messengers for the other parent.  This is not a good idea even if the message seems neutral like scheduling pick-up times between the two parents.  Even if there was a small disagreement in what was relayed, the receiving parent could end up feeling discouraged or upset.
  5. Holding on to anger and not allowing the other parent to share important childhood school or social events.
  6. Not being honest with the children about what will happen next.  An example of this would be to tell the children they will not have to change schools if that decision has not yet been made.  Also don’t tell them where they will live if custody issues have not yet been resolved.  These are just two examples of many that could come up.

Collaborative Divorce Can Help Parents to Avoid These Mistakes

There are three types of divorce processes: Traditional Litigation, Mediation, and Collaborative Divorce.  In traditional litigation, the parents are involved in a negative legal battle where one ultimately wants to be the victor.  Unfortunately, in this type of divorce, it is difficult to get the parents to focus (and rightly so) on the children and to avoid mistakes.  That only creates additional stress.

With Mediation, or in a Collaborative Divorce, mental health or childcare professionals can be brought in to assist the parents in making a co-parenting plan, if necessary.  The professionals help the parents learn how to avoid mistakes and focus on what is in the best interests of the children.

Filed Under: Blog, Collaborative Divorce Tagged With: Divorce, Family Law, Mistakes

About Lynette Kim

Lynette Kim is a Los Angeles based Collaborative Attorney and Mediator. A child of divorce herself, Lynette understands the emotional and psychological impact divorce can have on children and is encouraged by her experience with helping families preserve relationships through non-adversarial means of ending a marriage.
Lynette’s Profile | Lynette’s Website

What our clients are saying…

Anonymous Client

The trouble with the collaborative process is that nobody has heard of it.  All through my divorce, my friends kept telling me I needed to hire a stronger attorney, one who would fight for me and win.  Well… in the end, I do feel I won, big time.  I not only got a great settlement in terms of the money, I’m also sure we got the best results possible for our kids.  We’re never going to be that divorced couple who celebrate Christmas together.  But the kids know that we can and will come to their weddings and be good with each other, which might not have happened if we’d stayed married, and certainly wouldn’t have happened if we’d made the divorce into a war.  To me, that’s priceless.

View Our Testimonials

Primary Sidebar

divorce Options Workshops

Divorce Options®

Workshops

Find a class
in your area

Meet Our Professionals

Tanya Prioste

Have you read?

How Can A Divorce Coach Help In Your Collaborative Divorce?

woman with therapist

Collaborative Divorce: Here’s how a Divorce Coach can help: Dealing with a divorce is often more … [Read More...]

Categories

  • Blog
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Divorce Options®
    • Mediation
  • Popups
  • Uncategorized

Footer

Collaborative Divorce California

Find a Professional Near You

Admin Offices

2872 Ygnacio Valley Road
#401
Walnut Creek, CA 94598
(925) 338-9550

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

For Collaborative Professionals

A Service of CPCal

Copyright © 2023 Collaborative Divorce California · All Rights Reserved

· · ·

Website Design by The Crouch Group

Log in