Coparenting with a toxic ex-spouse can be challenging, but it's not impossible to find ways to navigate the situation effectively for the well-being of your children. Over 30 years of research indicate that that ongoing parental conflict increases children’s risk of psychological and social problems during and after divorce and into adulthood. The higher your conflict, the more likely your … [Read more...] about How Will I Ever Be Able To Co-Parent Effectively With My Toxic Ex-Spouse
When you hear the word “relationship,” what comes to mind? Many of us think about the feelings we associate with romantic partnerships, whether warm and loving or painful and heartbreaking. Yet as Pepperdine University's Dr. Louis Cozolino writes, the field of interpersonal neurobiology understands humans as individuals born into relationships. Through myriad relationships from birth to … [Read more...] about How Gray Divorce Affects Family Relationships: Adult Children Can Hurt Too.
KEY POINTS Middle-aged children of divorcing parents report a wide range of painful feelings and experiences, including worry, irritability, depression, and grief. Parental gray divorce can overwhelm middle-aged children who worry about their parents and feel pulled into alliances with parents, siblings, spouses, and extended family members. Middle-aged children of gray divorce benefit … [Read more...] about How Can Gray Divorce Affect Middle-Aged Children?
Key Points: Adult children often continue to view their parents as a unit. When their divorcing parents are 50 and older, called "gray divorce," this unit can rupture and be gone forever. Adult children say they feel the burden of the changing roles, family traditions, and rituals. They must plan vacations and holidays differently. Will they need to schedule two different times to see each … [Read more...] about Gray Divorce Can Impact Adult Children in Surprising Ways
The word “coach” has many meanings. Collaborative Divorce Coaches differ significantly from the “certified divorce coaches” who have proliferated in the past ten years. Collaborative Divorce Coaches work as part of a professional team in a voluntary divorce process called Collaborative Divorce, where a team of professionals helps you co-create your agreements respectfully without the … [Read more...] about How Can a Divorce Coach Help You During Your Separation and Divorce?
Key Points Grief is a natural reaction to loss. Understanding gray divorce and the grieving process can help you and the people you cherish heal and move forward. The collaborative process can minimize pain and promote healing. "Gray divorce" is the term for a split that occurs in a couple aged 50 and older. Researchers project that as the U.S. population ages, by 2030, … [Read more...] about The Grief and Sadness of a Gray Divorce
The American Association of Retired Persons coined the term “gray divorce” in 2004 when it published a study about divorce at midlife and beyond. In 2012, researchers at Bowling Green State University named this phenomenon the “gray divorce revolution.” Their study found the divorce rate for the U.S. population over 50 doubled in those two decades and more than doubled for those over … [Read more...] about What Is Gray Divorce? Couples Over 50 Are Divorcing in Record Numbers
The decision to divorce is a life-changing one and should not be entered into blithely. After you decide, take time to prepare how you will tell your spouse, which includes what you are going to say, when, and where. Meeting with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist to discuss, plan, and rehearse the particulars can help you feel prepared. Consulting with family lawyers, … [Read more...] about How To Ask For a Divorce Peacefully
The following tips will help you prepare to talk with your children about your separation and divorce. You care about doing the best you can for your children because you are reading this article. Give yourself permission not to be perfect. No one is. This is a stressful time for all of you. Remember to keep taking slow, deep breaths --- you and your children will get … [Read more...] about 13 Tips for Talking with Your Children About Your Separation and Divorce
Children are like wet cement. Everything that falls on them leaves an impression. ~ Dr. Haim Ginott, World Acclaimed Child Psychologist Historically, more divorce filings occur in January than in any other month, with a New Year’s resolution to “start a new life,” which is why January is the International Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month. It is a month dedicated to … [Read more...] about January 2021 is the 14th Anniversary of January as the International Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month
Listening deeply and without judgment helps you understand the emotions and intentions behind the spoken words so that the person speaking feels heard and understood. Listening without judgment is NOT waiting for your turn to talk or rebuttal what your partner is saying. There is a story about a world leader who attended Harvard’s world-renowned Program on Negotiation. His cohort … [Read more...] about What Is Effective Communication During a Divorce?
During a divorce, many parents fight about what courts call “child custody.” If you ask the average person, who isn’t going through or hasn’t gone through a divorce, to define the word “custody,” the first definition is usually something like “where people go when they are suspects of a crime or convicted of a crime, like in jail or prison.” Why is a word with this most common meaning associated … [Read more...] about A Child Custody Order or a Mutually Created Co-parenting Plan: Which Is Best
Separation and divorce are crises for families. The COVID-19 pandemic adds another layer of crisis on co-parents and their children, who are already stressed. The virus is endangering lives world-wide. In record numbers, people are losing their jobs, their income, and their familial and social connections. Those who still have their jobs are balancing working virtually from … [Read more...] about Co-parenting during the Pandemic Brings Danger and Opportunity
California co-parents and their children are living in unfamiliar territory, that can cause unprecedented stress for all family members. Parents working from home are feeling unprepared for their virtual work life, while trying to manage their non-school age children and assist their older children with online school instruction and homework. For some shelter-at-home orders are interfering … [Read more...] about Co-Parenting in California during the COVID-19 Pandemic: Challenges and Opportunities
Often married adults include as one of their New Year’s resolutions that they are going to “start a new life” by filing for divorce. For this reason, there is an increase in divorce filings in January. This is why January is National Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month. When parents file for divorce, how does it affect their children? It depends. For decades, the … [Read more...] about Children the Wealth of Family
The effect of divorce on minor children has been a hot topic for decades. But divorce can also significantly impact adult children whose parents are divorcing. These adult children report many of the same feelings and experiences. “My friends at college say I should be glad they didn’t divorce when I was younger because that would have been a lot worse. It’s like they expect me … [Read more...] about You Have Chosen to Divorce: Are Your Adult Children Too Old to Hurt?