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You are here: Home / Blog / Are You Afraid To Get a Divorce?

Are You Afraid To Get a Divorce?

December 9, 2019 By Emily M. De Falla

You’re not alone.  After hearing all the legendary horror stories, you know you don’t want one of your own.

You wonder:

Afraid to get a divorce
  • Will the divorce hurt my children?
  • Will I be wiped out financially?
  • Will I be able to have a decent home?
  • Will I ever be able to retire?
  • Will I be able to handle the anger, grief, and uncertainty?
  • Will it be an ugly, expensive battle?

Well, there is no magic wand, but there are things you can do to make sure your divorce is the best it can be.

What’s the key?  A commitment to being non-adversarial.  In plain English it just means deciding you are not going to fight with one another.  And while that may sound like a fantasy, there is a way to make that happen.  It’s called Collaborative Divorce.

Choosing Collaborative Divorce allows you and your partner to divorce with respect and integrity.

Your Collaborative team creates a safe environment to resolve the financial issues and manage your conflict so that it doesn’t emotionally damage your children.

In Collaborative Divorce no one will win or lose.  Rather, with the help of your team, you and your partner will reach agreements that take both of your concerns into account.  In this process all the available information is on the table, there is open, honest, and respectful communication, and the entire team works together to find the right solutions for the entire family.

When a couple works collaboratively to solve the problems of divorce, it saves money and encourages creative problem solving.  It reduces the stress and emotional toll.  It allows both people to look to the future and begin the healing process.

Collaborative Divorce is especially important in families with children.

Studies show that children in divorcing families do best when their parents reduce the conflict and work together to develop a healthy and respectful co-parenting relationship.  Collaborative teams include Coaches and Child Specialists – mental health professionals who have special training and lots of experience working with divorcing families with children.  They can help the parents craft workable parenting plans and improve communication as the family transitions into two households.

Financial issues are a source of great concern for most people getting divorced.

In Collaborative Divorce a neutral financial professional with special training collects all of your family’s financial data and helps both of you understand it.  Then the whole team thinks through workable options for dividing assets, debts, and income, taking into consideration what the future will look like for both parties as each possible scenario is discussed.  Neither partner has an advantage, and no agreement is final until both parties agree it is the right one.

There is more than one way to get divorced.

Collaborative Divorce is the choice for couples who do not want to be adversarial, who want to reach decisions that work for both of them, and whose priority is to protect the children from their parents’ conflict.  Learn about your options by attending a Divorce Options® workshop.  Go to https://collaborativedivorcecalifornia.com/find-a-divorce-options-class/ to find a Divorce Options® class.

Want to Read More?

What are 3 Collaborative Divorce Myths?
Will I Lose My Health Insurance When I’m Divorced in California?
How Much Does a Divorce Cost in California?

Filed Under: Blog, Collaborative Divorce Tagged With: Collaborative

About Emily M. De Falla

Emily De Falla is a Family Law Attorney practicing in the Bay Area. With the Collaborative Divorce method, Emily helps divorcing couples reduce tension and conflict, allowing them to reach durable agreements outside of the court system where families don’t belong.
Emily’s Profile | Emily’s Website

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I told my lawyer at the beginning that he was going to have to talk for me in the meetings.  I would get so choked up when my ex was in the room, I couldn’t speak.  My lawyer was so great… he told me that he was not going to speak for me, but that he and my coach were going to help me speak for myself.  Long story short, I found my voice.  Yeah!

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